Reality Ravings

Channel 7's singing equivalent of Dancing With the Stars kicked off last night, and those too cool for school rock stars from the '80s must should be grateful. Now that their own music careers are dead they have been able to keep their superannuation payments going by either becoming a judge or performer on these shows.

We have Ross Wilson, James Valentine (to be fair he actually has a radio career as well), Ian Moss, Kate Cerbrano, and Wendy Matthews all involved.

It is the same format as DWTS, you sing, you do the post performance patter with the Grant Denyer, hear the judges reviews, then go to the green room for more patter with Erica Heyantz before getting your scores. Basically if you have not recorded it the show goes for an excruiating two hours!

But I will keep on watching until I get the shot of Grant Denyer and Anthony Callea standing side by side just so I can see who is the shortest.

Few comments on the first episode:

• Erica Heyantz looked like a drag queen beside Grant Denyer;
• All the judges were far to nice to some of the more appalling singers.
• James Valentine managed to inject some humour, but really it needs a Todd McKenny or Dicko on the panel.
• I know it was Erica's first show, but if you going to put her in the exact same role as Sonia Kruger she is going to be compared to her, and of course Sonia's wit is renown.
• Mariana Prior looks great compared to when she used to run around in Gilbert and Sullivan productions.

The first singers of the night were comedian Julie Morris and David Hobson the very overexposed opera singer. They sang "Everlasting Love" quite well. Julia looked like she was wearing a bath towel this was probably to make her feel comfortable as she has only ever sung in the shower previously.

The judges loved it and gave it a high 29.

Next was the reed thin weather girl Sara Groen with Adam Harvey the country singer. They sang "Fever". Now she looked hot in a red dress that she needed to be sewed into. However the real surprise was the sex appeal the song gave to Adam. Sara unfortunately looked very nervous and stiff and was relieved when it was all over. The judges again gushed and gave it a very high score of 30 (hold I forgot if you are a channel 7 star you always get extra points). I thought she was flat in parts.

Daily Telegraph gossip page fodder Candice Falzone, and Anthony Callea sang the pop number "Suddenly I See". Now if I was Randy Jackson I would say "I am afraid that was a little pitchy for me". However judges were polite and gave them 24.

Chole Maxwell and David Campbell sang "Come Out Swinging" and Chole surprisingly had great stage presence with her big smile.

She also endeared herself to the mothers with pelvic floor muscle issues as she confessed when she is nervous "a bit of wee comes out". Judges gave them a high 29. I think she could be the surprise package of the show.

Next was AFL player Russell Robinson and Kate Cerbrano singing a Doobie Bros song. I thought it was all a bit non descrip but the judges loved it and gave it 31. Clearly there were a few AFL fans on the panel.

Paul O'Brien Home and Away Star, and Jade McCrae sang Oasis's "Wonderwall". This one was first number the judges were ambivalent about, and my extra points for Channel 7 stars theory proved wrong here as they scored a paltry 22.

John Mangos newsreader and Wendy Matthews were next out singing "You Are The Sunshine Of My Life". Wendy still looks and sounds amazing, however I think I prefer her as a brunette. John Mangos had pitch issues, and the whole routine reminded me of a wedding singer.

A noticeably nervous Mark Wilson and Rachael Beck sang "Baby It's Cold Outside" which was quite good, except Mark was so effeminate. My thoughts were backed up by James Valentine who told him to "no mincing". Must be a hangover from his ballrooom dancing days. They got a respectable 27.

The highlight of the evening was All Saints actress Virginia Gay and Ian Moss sing "My Funny Valentine" her voice was superb and she even out shone Ian Moss. The judges were clearly very excited about Ian Moss now becoming a mentor on the show with them all raving about him.

They scored the highest of the evening with 35.

Last was Scott Draper golf and tennis player, and the sizzling Ricki-Lee singing "Playing to Win". Ricki-Lee looked sexy in a gold lame mini dress, however I don't think we will be seeing Scott in the competition for long he seemed to lack personality and dare I say it looks. However the judges gave them 28.

Virgina and Ian came first with 35. Second Russell Robinson and Kate Cerbrano with 31, and third to Sara and Adam on 30. However who goes next will depend on the voters at home.

My guess is Candice Falzone will be first to be eliminated.