Sunday, September 30, 2007

Australian Idol Final Nine - Unplugged

Due to a recording malfunction I missed both Mark and Natalie's songs - very cranky but not as cranky as the males in the house when they realised the first half of the Grand Final had not been recorded!

Tonight was acoustic night, and it was an opportunity for the Idol's to put their money where their mouth is. They were able to play instruments and their was no music restrictions. I found it ironic that acoustic night was held on the night they will get their lowest TV ratings due to most of Sydney and Melbourne viewers watching the NRL Grandfinal.

Kyle was at his witty best, and Sheridan Tyler was obviously feeling waistcoats this season, as both Jacob, and Daniel wore them.

Ian Moss was a guest artist "mentoring"the Idol's, nicely timed to fit in with the release of his new CD. On American Idol the guest artist also sits on the judging panel for the night, which did not happen here but I presume five judges would be too much, but he could have replaced Dicko for the night and given him the opportunity to get over his jet lag.

Carl - sang a Harry Connick Jr "It's alright with me". He is a bit amateur hour for me and each week I think he is going to go, but those puppy dog eyes are clearly working on some voters. There are a lot of hits on his fan site on the Official Australian Idol website. Only Ben and Matt Corby have more. So it looks like he will be staying around for awhile.

The navy have agreed to let him out of his contract, however I still see his career on the high seas - singing on a cruise ship.

Oh and Kyle the horn joke was predictable.

Jacob- Keane - "Somewhere Only We Know". Why was he not playing his guitar? I thought this was the week all the "serious" artists on the show were wanting. I thought it was dull and when I heard the lyric "This could be the end of everything" I thought yeah honey I think your Idol journey will be ending tomorrow night.

At the end of the song the camera was desperately scanning the crowd to find a Jacob placard. They found one and it was probably a relative or friend, so that does not count.

Matt - Damien Rice "The Blower Daughter". Now Matt rates highly on the crucial placard count - there were squillions plus kids in I love Matt t-shirts, this guy is going to have be caught with a kilo of smack to lose this competition.

Dicko said there had been shenanigans backstage about the choice of his song. The interpretation of this was producers were wetting themselves that the obscure song would see him voted out, and leave them with limited star quality for the rest of the Idol performances.

Musically he is extremely talented, and I thought the song was good. The judges are so hypocritical re: song choices, because Matt pulled it off he was an artist, if he had blown it they would have been pulling out the Holly, and Reigan rantings.

Daniel - Kiss "I Was Made For Loving You". I was surprised he did not play an instrument tonight, but maybe he wanted his musicality to show through the arrangement he had done on turning the rock song into a ballad. Gosh did it work. Tonight I thought he looked good, even sexy. Did someone trim his hair? The waist coat was working for me. The song was beautiful, first time I have ever listened to the lyrics of a song which I have heard at least 100 times. Not sure if it merited a touchdown. I wish Mark would outline the criteria he judges it on as I thought last weeks was dodgy too. Ben's song was better, and Mark did not give him one tonight.

Ben - did not catch song title or band but it did not matter as it was so beautiful. He has such star quality, I hope he goes to broadway. The nerves were showing but who cares as Kyle said "Sensational". He is a cutie, and I suspect he will be walking the Opera House steps with Matt.

Tarasai - Deseree "Kissing You". I nearly gagged when Kyle said she was his favourite. Probably guaranteed to get her in the bottom three tomorrow.

Vocally brilliant probably the best song she has done, but she does not connect with me. Maybe if I saw more of that mad personality the judges were talking about my attitude might change. But the cutsie look she gives the camera is irritating. I found it vaguely amusing that Ian Moss did not warm to her.

Marty - Snow Patrol "Open Your Eyes". Yes looked much better with the guitar, and his gravelly voice really suited the song. He will get through this week, but I think his life on the show is now limited.

Bottom 3, Mark, Tarasai, and Jacob.

A stronger show tonight, with Kyle again taking out the points for most amusing judge.

So You Think You Can Dance - Nigel Lythgoe to be a guest judge?

The Sun Herald today reported that Nigel Lythgoe may be a guest judge on Australia's version So You Think You Can Dance. Apparently he has grandkids on the Gold Coast and is a semi-regular visitor.

Nasty Nigel will definately be a ratings boost for the show, and will be able to give the judges some much needed advice in the first season. He is a fair and balanced judge who loves dancing. If he is nasty then Simon Cowell must be a complete sociopath...

Also in the same article there was speculation about Megan Gale being the compere - however I think that rumour was killed on Friday and I suspect the herald's gossip column had already been printed.

Asha Kuertan name has been mentioned. However front runner is now Rogue Traders lead singer Natalie Bassingwaite. Who really is a shorter version of Cat Deeley. Apparently Natalie did the warm up for the Disco show on Australian Idol.

I would expect an announcement soon prior to the auditions commencing as the PR girls cannot keep on spinning these rumours out - at least Bec Cartwright has not been mentioned.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Reality Titbits

Casey Donovan has a mystery boyfriend of two years - article still could not reveal who it was - no photo of him though.,22049,22495142-5012964,00.html

Damien Leith's book "One More Time" is now on sale in all good retail outlets. I look forward to the reviews.

Asha Kuerten rumoured to be the host of the Australian version of So You Think You Can Dance. Never heard of her - must watch the Channel 9 Saturday morning music show to check her out.

Matt and Lana admit to a few "cuddles" in the house - yawn- so over this bring on the Natalie, Daniel, Ben love triangle.,22049,22489947-5006002,00.html

Reality TV Not Real reveals Producer

In shock news today it was revealed Supernanny producers would make toddlers cry all in the name of good tv. Article here,22049,22496714-5001026,00.html

Someone blew the lid of the manipulation of the show, to say that this was just one of the liberties taken on the show to make it more watchable.

I kind of thought this was the case in Supernanny as we all know that our kids behave like angels when people are around and then as soon as they are gone the performances begin.

It was also revealed that there were also changes to things on Wife Swap. To think I thought this was typical American behaviour...... No one came out looking real good on that show. However I found it strange how some families in the US eat their dinner off paper plates and drink out of disposable cups so they don't have as much washing up to do. No one there is a greenhouse issue.

Extreme Makeover coming to Australia - Yippee

Yeah at last a reality tv show I may qualify for....

Today's Daily Tele states that an Eastern Suburbs plastic surgeon may do a show here based on the US version. Article link attached,22049,22494873-5006002,00.html

It does not say which TV channel, but it won't be ABC or SBS (they are to busy showing late night porn, oops I meant arthouse flicks).

It appears to have Channel 10 written all over it, but I suspect David Gyngell would like it to boost the current poor ratings of Channel 9.

Will try and get more details.

So You Think You Can Dance - Final 16

I knew last nights episode of this show was going to be a good one when Nigel flummoxed Cat Deeley by using the words "Cat has never been on my head" in one sentence.

Cat as usual looked fantastic even though it was a black leather dress. Only she could make it look elegant.

The guest judges were Mary Murphy who seems to be a permanent fixture on the judging panel this year, and the iconic Debbie Allen.

Debbie Allen appears to be this shows version of Marcia Hines, she did not have a bad word to say about anyone. I was getting a bit sick of her promoting the "Debbie Allen Dance Academy" and clearly was Nigel who neatly put her back in her box, when she told Cedric that he would benefit from lessons from her academy, Nigel quickly said "Scholarship, Debbie?". She nearly choked on her reply - "uh yes of course". No further mention of her school was heard after that.

Jesus & Sarah were first up doing a Krump dance. I had never heard of this but it looked like a genre of hip-hop. Wiki came to my rescue and said it was a was a relative new type of within the "urban" and street dance movements. Further info here Apparently their choreographer Lil C was one of the developers of the style.

I am sure some of the moves will show up on the next series of Strictly Dancing. So we can get ready for Paul McDermott to make some Krumpet jokes.

Shauna & Cedric were up next dancing contemporary - which was choreographed by the very talented Mia Michaels. I think this was Karma considering she was the one who wanted to save Cedric last week. Cedric who an untrained hip hop dancer I think is this shows version of friendly fire. He has and will continue to take out innocent bystanders whilst he is in the show.

Shauna tried, but Cedric was appalling, and when he went to the side to sit down I thought he had had a meltdown and had stopped dancing. However it was all part of the creative routine which meant he did not have to dance for 30 seconds.

Mad Mary was the speaker of truth when she told him how appalling it was and that he should be out of the show. The rest of the boys thought great this is the week to be in the bottom 3 because Cedric is sure to be there and they have told him that he is gooooonnnnnneee.

The irony was that Shauna and Cedric managed to avoid the bottom three. Was it because he mentioned God when he was talking to the judges, and the bible belt people voted to support him? He has to go next week.

Also Ricky and Faina must be fuming that they were the sacrificial lambs to enable his journey to continue.

Lacey (Benji's sister) again proved how versatile she is with a nice quickstep with Cameron who looked hot without his mohawk. In fact Lacey reminded me of her cousin Heidi last night, in movement and facial movements. Again Benji was in the audience cheering his sister on. I thought Benji looked decidedly gay, but I presume he is not due to his deep religious convictions.

I was watching with trepidation the Anya & Danny hip-hop dance choreographed by Dan Karaty. Dan managed to choreograph the worst routine last year, which resulted in getting two poor dancers punted off the show. On that occasion it was the first time I had heard judges (Shane Sparks) be critical of the choreographer.

However the routine was great - Anya was like a sexy Morticia Adams. They surprisingly ended up in the bottom three, so maybe Dan is cursed.

Sabra and Domenic did a great Rumba with some interesting moves. Domenic for a breaker, who claims to be untrained for the second week in a row put in a great performance. Sabra is so tiny she make Cat Deeley look like a fat giantess. Needless to say Mary gave them the hot tamale train comment which appears to be this shows equivalent of a Mark Holden touchdown.

Lauren and Neil did a nice little Tango - Nigel thought Neil overacted it, I loved it and thought he was smouldering....

Then came the number of the night. Hok and Jamie dancing a Wade Robson (I think this year he has taken over from Mia as the best choreographer on the show) routine. It was mesmerising. Both dancers were just brilliant. One of the best routines I have seen in 2 seasons.

Then in the next came high drama and comedy all in the space of 2 minutes. The audience was told that Jesse had been taken to hospital that morning and would be unable to dance the Cha Cha with Pasha. Pasha was to dance the routine with Tony Meredith assistance.

She looked like a barely slimmer version of Devine. It was hilarious. Him trying to act as if he thought she was the sexiest thing he had seen. He should have won an Oscar for his performance.

If I could have voted I would have voted for him. Clearly America saw it the same way and he is safe for another week.

This week there was a bottom 4 girls as Jesse had to dance off with the others, and inevitably (possibly undeservedly because of the lameness of all the girls solos) she was turfed. My theory was because they thought she may collapse again. In my opinion all Jesse needed to do was eat a cheeseburger or two and all her medical issues would be resolved.

This week as the judges pointed out all the boys were great, and Jesus was the one to have to take the bullet that really should have gone to Cedric.

The show is hotting up, the dancing is better then last year, and I can hardly wait until next week to see it all again.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Dancing with the Stars Series 7- Episode 1

The teeth were bleached, the fake tans were on, and the chests were waxed, which must mean Dancing With The Stars was back on TV.

The has been much disgruntlement about whether some of the contestants had the prerequisite amount of fame to be on the show. However since anyone can schlep onto any old reality tv show and be called a celebrity and considering some of these people have done more then be turkey slapped I think they filled the criteria. Saying that there were a couple of contestants who barely nudged my celeb radar.

As I have said in a previous So You Think You Can Dance Post
If you come from an Eastern Block country is it compulsory to be a ballroom dancer. The majority of dancers this year appear to be of Russian origin. I think for any man who wants to take a Russian bride salsa lessons may be compulsory.

Darryl Somers reminded me of a ring master and seemed a bit flat none of his opening intro really had any zing in it.

The co-ordination of Corrine Grant, and Patti Newtown were called into question when they seemed to have difficulty getting down the stairs however Patti Newtown soon put any geriatric rumours to rest with a showstopping performance.

And Do and Luda were first up with the Cha Cha - it was a cross between a Jackie Chan show, and those blaxploitation movies of the seventies. I think Quentin Tarantino would have approved.

Helen Ritchie the judge started as she means to continue by perving - she needs to get a toyboy and fast.

Elka Graham and Micheal were next with the quickstep. She certainly showed Darryl that he is a midget. I thought she looked stunning in an otherwise dull routine.

Mark Beretta and Linda then came on with the Cha Cha - He looked so gay - I don't know if he is nor do I care however it was the first word that popped into my head when he started dancing.

The strategy of Channel 7 became apparent when the judges were assessing him. Gush, Gush, Gush, and then a bit about how great Sunrise is. They obviously want to keep their own stars on the show for awhile to raise their profiles. They scored a high 27 for a pretty stiff and uncoordinated routine, and he also had his mouth open the whole time.

David Hobson and Karina did a nice little quickstep, and thought he was probably the best dancer of the night apart from Bridie Carter.

Michael Klim and Eliza did a quickstep, and I predict he will be the first one to go, because of the combination of a bland routine with a bland personality. The judges gave it the caning it deserved.

Corinne Grant and Csaba had a stab at the Cha Cha, ok a bit uncoordinated. I love Corrine however she is not bringing the sexy back.

Bridie Carter and Craig did a quick step and stamped their authority on the competition that they were the ones to beat. It was probably in the top two routines of the night.

James and Olga - No idea who he is - some sort of V8 racing car driver thought I would not like him, but actually did. And wow is Olga a little firecracker. She was indeed channelling the saucy video clip of the song they were dancing too - "Destination Unknown" where the singer simulates masturbation with a horn instrument.

Now the moment we had been waiting for Jessica Rowe and Serghei dancing the quickstep. Channel 7 had used her alot in their pre show publicity so clearly are trying to improve her profile. I suspect they will decide what to do with her once they see how far she goes on the show. Late night bulletins if she bombs out.
The routine was very stiff, and she does seem to have the body of a praying mantis, but she seemed to enjoy herself. I look forward to seeing her improve.

And then the penultimate moment Patti Newton and Sandro doing the Cha Cha - She was just great - no lame Dawn Fraser type dancing for her. She strutted her stuff and sizzled. Bert has got a hot little tomali there. I really enjoyed it and found her quite inspiring. Go Girl. Her daughter Lauren was there but not Matt Newtown, who may want to associate with her and try and improve his own self image after the 'battering' it has taken. All puns intended.

Patti took out top honours. Michael Klim and Elka Graham were the bottom two which just shows that talent in the water does not translate to dry land.

So you think you can Dance - Australian Auditions

Many Sydney dancers today started practising their pirouettes, and breaker moves in Sydney, as the Australian auditions of So You Think You Can Dance were announced for the 3rd and 4th of November.

They will be the last auditions in Australia. The process kicks off in Adelaide on the 7th of November. We are still awaiting announcements for the hosts and the judges. Unfortunately we cannot import Cat Deeley. Maybe we can hold her hostage when she comes over here later this year for her brothers wedding!

All the details on when and where are on the Channel 10 website

This is going to be a must watch show next year.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

TV Week Article are they or aren't they shagging?

TV Weak this week, did a pretty lame article on whether is there hanky panky going on between Lana and Marty.

Marty predictably denied it, as did Lana "He is my best friend in the house."

However Kyle was quoted as saying Marty had confirmed the rumour to him. Who you believe is the person who has the most integrity - now that is a difficult one.

Also there was a quote from Natalie saying is there may or maynot be something going on. Come on Nat be a bit more unequivocal then that..

However Tarasai was doing some ?fake crying last night (personally I thought it was more to do with a bruised ego) about losing her roommate so maybe Lana has been sleeping solo.

On the same page Kyle states that Mark Holden is always grasping for TV time, and rehearses what he is going to say when he is watching the singers in rehearsals. Is there tension between him and Marky Mark? We will just have to wait and see.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Monday Elimination night - Goodbye Lana

Clearly reality raver should not give up her day job to become a clairvoyant. This soothsayer had confidently predicted an all male top three, but was shown to be gloriously wrong with Lana and Tarasai both in there.

Another 1 hour of filler before we got down to business in the last 15 minutes, I think tonight they broke some sort of record by showing the Idol's Sunday night performances three times, ok once was a rehersal but still it was overkill.

I don't want to turn this into a fashion blog but I just have to mention the clothes tonight.

Firstly Marcia, Marcia, Marcia - if I did not know you were post-menopausal I would have thought you were pregnant. The top made her boobs look as big as Dolly Parton's, and her arms like a front row forward. Shame on you Sheridan or Cue whoever was the culprit.

Now Natalie you need to run as soon as you see Sheridan Tyler coming near you. Those red tights and short denim mini did her no favours. Was it the same one Brianna had worn the week before while singing that diabolical Supertramp song? Does she not know it is cursed? She needs to have a stroll down Fitzroy to get some of her Melbourne mojo back.

Now what are the supposedly funky hosts, James and Andrew G wearing business shirts with the thick white stripes and white collars, yes I know they had their moment of glory with a few stockbrokers in the 80's but do they need to come back. Next week they will be wearing those t shirts that used to changed colours depending on your body temperature....

Clearly Van Heusen is paying the producers for them to wear them.

Van Heusen is also dressing Kyle. Dicko is not being dressed by anyone, so at times it does look like he has pulled a jumper out of his wardrobe. At least he has given the polo tshirts the flick.

Tarasai in the bottom three was a surprise, but to be honest it was not an unpleasant one. I at one stage contemplated on popping the champers when I thought Daniel would be voted off. I think acoustic night next week will show just how untalented he is.

After the roasting Lana received last night she was not surprised to be there nor kicked off. Congratulations to her for being so composed about it. All Idol's and potential Idols take note, that is how you should behave with dignity. She was showing it in bucketloads. Her rendition of her song tonight was much better, she seemed relaxed and appeared to have fun with it.

Now the same cannot be said for the judges. When Andrew G asked if they had anything to say about the final three, Mark and Kyle just continued to put the boot in, and after her elimination could barely make any gracious comments. Big thumbs down to them all.

Predictions of the week - Ben to be caught pashing Tarasai in the spa just to prove a point to Mark.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Aust Idol - Final 10 Disco Night

Kitted out in my hotpants, oroton sequin handbag, and glass of Ben Ean wine I was ready to boogie on disco night.

I was also prepared to allow the misery of rock night to be erased from my mine.

The disco show was better and in fact Matt Corby received the first touchdown of the series, however it appeared the judges had been told to be more positive this week, and they seemed to really like some performances that to me were barely above average compared to other years.

This week Dicko's bags under his eyes appeared to be getting bigger, but he did seem happier. Marcia had finally taken a truth serum and admitted that lasts weeks show was total shite. Mark looks more and more like the joker without makeup, and Kyle is on some sort of happy drug and I had thought his role was to be the nasty judge. However he does crack me up a couple of times each show.

Some thirty something chick won the best banner competion with some sort montage to Daniel Misfud. I had to agree with James she really needed to get out more.

'Onadrought' was that you waving that declaration of lust?

First up was Tarisai singing Hot Stuff by Donna Summer
This genre was always going to suit her. I thought she sang it fine, her voice is strong, but at this stage I don't feel the magic when she is on stage. Paulini in the first series just nailed it on disco night and was fantastic you were almost dancing in your lounge room at home. Apparently she is one of the bookies favourites so she will definately be there next week.

Ben - Can't Stop Til You Get Enough - Michael Jackson.
The judges loved it. I just wish they would stop trying to drag him out of the cupboard each week. For crissakes the kid is barely 17 he may not know what he is yet, and all those innuendoes must be quite confronting. I loved the arrangement, however was surprised that Mark was saying it was close to a touchdown. I thought in some places it was a bit weak.

Mark - Nutbush City Limits - - Ike and Tina Turner.
He is showing his savvyness with his song choices, he managed to avoid a Damien Lieth disco disaster with this rock like cover. He is a bit one dimensional but he will continue to push forward in the comp. Dicko said he wanted him to be a bit more sensual next week. I have no idea what he means by that. A Julio Englesias ballad perhaps??

Lana - Moloko - Sing It Back. I thought she looked like young Charlie Angel, however the bags under her eyes are not getting any smaller. Clearly the HSC study is starting to have an impact. She did the song ok, not memorable but ok. However it is clear the judges are keen to see her go. Good on her for not being bothered about the comments, I think she will be safe for another week.

Jacob - Car Heat - Jameroquai. He reminded me of a poor mans version of Robbie Williams tonight. Again he was ok, his voice was a bit wobbly in parts. He just seems to want this so much. It is like he knows this is his last chance saloon. If this does not work out for him he will have to go out and get a real job. We will probably see him pop up onThe Singing Bee - Season 2.

Marty - You Sexy Thang - Hot Chocolate
He has such a limited vocal range. I liked it for the first 30 seconds but then I was just bored. It was bland, and as wobbly as blamange. I laughed when one of the judges said that Marty reminded him of Agro, as I was just thinking at the same time his eyebrows reminded me of Fozzie Bears. He is a definate bottom three.

Daniel - Some Girls - Rolling Stones.
I just find him the same every week. He really needs to get a haircut it is driving me nuts. Also I think he carries around a to cool for school attitude - which I suppose is what rock/pop stars should have, but I kind of don't like it. I am still not warming to this guy, but clearly I am in the minority. His song was good, but not great. I agreed with Kyle he ticks all the boxes, good look, voice, movement but there is just something lacking. However clearly I am in the minority as he seemed to have a huge amount of fans there tonight.

Carl - September by Earth, Wind and Fire
I was so expecting him to crash and burn this week, however he did not bomb it(sorry unintentional use of navy vernacular). The judges gushed over it for some reason. I still don't think he is as talented as some of the other Idol contestants this year. And the scatting was abysmal. However I think we will see him this week. Clearly the Australian Defence Forces are voting for him. Those bored soldiers on duty throughout the middle east are probably spending their spare time texting in the votes. Not much else to spend your money on in Bagdad.

Matt - Gotta Get You Into My Life - Earth, Wind and Fire.
He must have been channelling Carl as it was very swingy. I suspect if Carl had done this version he would have been hammered. However Matt managed to score a touchdown. I liked the performance. I think Matt is the package to go the whole way, and probably has the best voice in the competiton. But was it worthy of a touchdown? Felt like rewinding the tape to see what I had missed on the first viewing. I suspect judges think Matt is the only one this year that would make the record company money hence all the gushing.

Natalie - I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor.
I love this song however this blogger must confess to doing and listening to some extremely poor renditions of this song at Karoke. I was hoping for a great rendition and it was. I was a bit bemused that this one did not score a touchdown like the previous song - but the record company theory was already brewing in my mind so I figured that was the reason.
She looked great, and I disagreed with Mark the way she opened the song actually made me pay attention to this overdone anthem.

Tonight was a much needed improvement from last week, and hence a much more enjoyable show. The judges appear to be gelling and we are starting to get know the contenders a bit more.

I predict an all male bottom three - Marty, Jacob, and Danny boy. Marty to go.

Aust Idol - The mystery spa photos have emerged.

Finally the rumoured pictures of Brianna and Marty in the spa have emerged. Sitting in the prime page 3 position in the Sunday Telegraph. Quality.

Rumours had been circulating that big money had been paid for them. However, I had thought the Telegraph prided itself on not buying stories, however photos might be a different thing.

Link below:,22049,22464573-5001026,00.html

The picture does the raise the question about why Matt Corby has such a strange look on his face what is he thinking?

Is it:
a) Why did I sit on one of the spa's holes I have bubbles going up my ass?
b) Oh God I am only a 16 year old and I only have to look at a girl to get a boner, I hope she cannot feel it? or
c) Oops, Uh oh - At my school did they tell me that semen could stay alive in a spa - oh please god I hope not.

Interesting that Lana and Marty were sitting together - there was the rumour they were having some sort of interaction, however no overpowering body chemistry seems evident in this photo. Maybe he has a sneaky hand underwater.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

So You Think You Can Dance - Final 18

I just love this US version of this show - it is slickly produced, they rotate the judges, which I think that is something Aust Idol should consider, and Cat Deely is just devine.

I am looking forward to the Australian version of the show which Channel 10 will be producing next year. We should have enough dancing and choreagraphing talent to do at least one good season. Cannot wait to find out who will be hosting it. I reckon Yumi from the V Channel would be a good choice.

This years series has already raised a number of questions:
1. Did Russia actually win the cold war? Or have they just taken over New York City? The number of russians on the show is high - well one less now Faina has bitten the bullet?
2 Did Nigel peroxide everything this year? Hair, eyebrows, and teeth?
3. What the hell does copasetic mean?

Last Thursday's show was the second of the final series - last week I was so stunned that Ricky got the boot that I could not blog. He was an amazing dancer to quote Mia Michael.

This week the judges were Nasty Nigel matching his fake tan with his jacket - bland beige. I like Nigel but he needs to stop taking beauty advise from his current squeeze Priscilla Presley. She of the refusing to age gracefully club (The president is Joan Rivers, closely followed by Nicole Kidman). There is barely a wrinkle on her however she looks like an extra from Bladerunner.

Mad Mary appears to be getting a lot of judging time this year - she used to irritate me, but now I just love her - she kinda grew on me. However she too has succumbed to the plastic surgery temptation in the off season, not for the better either she cannot move her forehead.

Mia Michaels the third judge also appears to have had a make over - peroxided hair, eyes touchedup? Do they have some sort of plastic surgery allowance in their contracts as just about all the women, and some of the men have all had at least botox injections! I don't get it - the only celeb who has had great work done has been demi Moore, that was flawless, the rest all just have surprise eyes.

Enough of the plastic surgery rant this is not Extreme Makeover we are disecting.

Mia is an ammmmaaazzzzzzzzzzzinggg choreagrapher, which is just as well, as she is such a NY cliche*. She seems to think she so much the individual, but I find her pretentious- a person who thinks just because she is creative she is somehow further up the food chain then the lesser mortals who have to sully their hands with other more mundane work. Over the years I have copped that 'tude from authors, musicians(non-talented ones at that), and Nida students (who I predict are now flipping burgers), and must say I am over it.

The dancing on the show was of much better quality then the previous weeks, and there was only one dud routine - Faina and Cedrics.

This week they pulled the foxtrot - which pleased ballroom dancer Faina, but not hip hop Cedric. He was basically a trainwreck. And as Mia said it was not copasetic. What the fuck does that mean? Reality TV shows are not meant to use words with more then three syllables in them. Clearly this one is trying to be educational - or is Mia just demonstrating that she is indeed higher up the food chain then most of us. For the less linguistically challenged reading this blog copasetic is a US colloquial term which means fine or splendid.

So basically a polite way of saying the routine was shit.

I thought Cedric should have been turfed the previous week, and definately should have gone this week, but he appears to be the cat with nine lives. Unfortunately for Faina she is the collateral damage, as I suspect Shauna will be next week.

I thought Jesse and Pasha(another of the russian mafia in the show) were extremely unlucky to be bottom three - i thought their Tyce cheographed jazz routine was one of the highlights of a very good show. I have a feeling Jesse is not connecting with the teenybopper voters. Her solo at the end was terrible it showed she had lost her confidence. My mum was shocked as she was her tip to win the comp.

Lauren (Benji's who won last years show sister) looks like she will go a long way this year as she is a good alrounder, and has alot of personality. Again Hok looks good, however I don't know how far a traditional hip-hopper will be able to get. But he is certainly playing up to the cameras.

Travis's (runner up from last years series) adopted brother Danny certainly looks the goods as well. How good a teacher must their mother be, as they are both such beautiful dancers. They are a fabulous advertisement for her dance studio, she must now have people coming far and wide to train with her.

Danny and Anya's viennese waltz was beautiful, even though Nigel, and Mary nit picked and said it was not technically perfect. Normally pulling the Viennese Waltz is almost a bottom three guarantee, but they managed to avoid that curse.

My tip for casualties next week will be Shauna, and Cedric.

Obviously I realise this show has actually finished in the USA - so I would appreciate any person who knows who won NOT to post it in the comments.

*Please note this blogger does not dislike New York, or New Yorkers, in fact I love them both and hope to live there one day.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Lana's baggy eyes is there a reason for them?

I have to confess I was wrong about the rumour about Marty which Kyle alluded to on Sunday night.

He is not some cone freak but a paedophile (only joking). Now I know why Idol makes sure the contestants are 16... and I had stupidly thought it was for musical reasons.

Apparently the rumour as reported in the Daily Tele, is that Lana and Marty were hooking up in the house.

Is this the reason for the bags under Lana's eyes on Monday's night show where it looked liked she had been crying for hours.

They are denying the rumours. Maybe as two contestants that won't be on the show much longer they are giving each other some comfort.

I must say they would make a very strange couple.

Personally I think the rumour is crap and Kyle just said this rumour to put of the scent off other rumours circulating about Marty.

As Kyle said on Sunday "You have had a hard week" Unless Kyle was using a double entrendre' I don't think rumours of him being with Lana would have merited much sympathy nor have affected his performance that much.

Also did not say to Brianna or Marty "oh it has been a difficult week for you" considering they had been the victim of the same scuttlebutt.

I think it is Kyle just covering his tracks after making a faux pas on the show, and to stop the media trying to get to the heart of the issue.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Brianna gone all pretty predictable

Firstly I must congratulate the producers of Aust Idol in their ability to spin out a 10 minute show to one hour.

It is particularly excrutiating to have to watch the previous nights performances twice, once at the beginning, and once through the camera at the side of the stage.

What was the story with Lana and her eyes had she been bawling her eyes out prior to going on stage. Had Dicko given her the just commit harikari talk.

Anyway Lana is surviving another week, but seems to know she won't be there to walk those opera house steps.

It was unsurprising that Brianna went, I must say I was not sorry, again we had her pretentious whinging about how she has only ever sung her own songs. Bull - I am sure she has been seen hanging out in those Karoke bars in Fortitude Valley.

The only unfortunate thing about her going is that it reduces then number of girls to three.

I was surprised that Jacob was in the bottom 3 - clearly he did not carry many fans over from the X Factor. However is was not the worst performance of the night.

Disco night next week well that will be a giggle as they the majority crash and burn again.

Final 11 - Can there be five in the bottom three?

Well Australian Idol tonight’s show was hugely disappointing. There was not one standout performance. It was bland, boring, and banal.

The only entertainment I had all night was spotting the Head and Shoulders product placements throughout the show.

Even Marcia was critical tonight. You always know when she did not like the song as she goes so how did you feel about that??

I would put about five of them in the bottom three.

Also what is the definition of Rock?
Is ColdPlay, Oasis or Supertramp classified as rock? The Producers/minders during the week need to tell them to stick to the themes and change songs.

I am starting to think there is a distinct lack of talent this year. In fact I don’t even have a favourite yet.

Dicko is clearly struggling with his commuting to the US. He looked jet lagged and grumpy, but must admit I agreed with most of his comments.

Matt Corby – He has a great voice but he managed to murder the Led Zepplin song, with absolutely no movement on stage. However his was not the lamest performance.

Carl – Coldplay – 1. Are they are rock band? 2. Is turning a song into swing on a rock theme night fitting in with the parameters of the night. Agreed with Dick lazy performance. Though he is just showing he is one trick pony. Definite bottom three tonight.

Oh and Andrew G Bobby Flynn may have changed songs around but at least he did with some musicality.

Brianna – Gee wouldn’t Supertramp be flattered to be thought of as a rock band. This song was a train wreck. I don’t know why they let her sing it – not a rock song, nor sung in a rock way. Truly woeful she was out of tune most of the way. Her trying to justify herself is getting on my nerves. Is she an only child with parents just always telling her how great she is? I don’t care if she is deaf in one ear I just want to watch a TV show I can enjoy.

And the other thing she should not wear a mini skirt she just does not have the legs for it.

Dicko was extremely harsh saying she should resign from the show, in fact he should have said it to at least half of the performers out there tonight.
Definite bottom three.

Marty – Again ordinary he sounds the same each week. I am not getting why the judges like him. The only intriguing thing was when Kyle “loose lips” Sandilands mentioned some rumours going around him. You intrepid blogger is currently trying to find out what they are. I have my suspicions but as I don’t want a defamation action I will not say it.

Lana – She looked great but again did not rock out. Absolutely no grunt. She is getting lucky as she is flying under the radar at present as there are so many bad performers.

Jacob – is Oasis “what’s the story morning glory” a rock song? He tried to rock it but it was so repetitive. Though on the night one of the better performances. At least I got one giggle out of it as I thought he was singing “wake up w*nker”

Tarisai – Yes Black Crowes are rock – however hers was a soul rendition. Again I found her underwhelming. I don’t think her voice is as strong as everyone else. Agreed with Dicko the song stuck in her throat.

Ben Mckenzie – I can barely remember this performance it was so forgettable. It was out of tune, and unengaging. Any other night he would be in danger of being voted off. However he will be safe.

Daniel – Singing Hendrix. What do they see in this guy? He is a one trick pony as well and I have not seen any great performances from him. Also at one stage in his song I thought he forgot the lyrics. I hope he is bottom 3 tonight. However will probably be saved by the bell curve factor where the talent pool is so limited that he is seen as being above average this year.

Natalie – I love the way Axle Rose sings Sweet Child O Mine – he just has such a distinctive sound. However I thought her performance was only ok. At least it sustained my attention for the whole 90 seconds. She will be safe this week. I suspect she may be the last girl standing in the comp.

Mark – Well he is rock guy, and the judges loved it. Maybe because he did a traditional ACDC song. I thought they were clutching at straws. Considering he was rock dude – you would expect him to get close to a touch down on Rock Theme night it just did not happen. Most cover bands do better renditions then he gave.

Remember Chris Murphy how he tore up the stage. If he was in Idol this year he would make it to the Opera House.

If next week is as lame – Idol is really going to struggle to sustain ratings this year, considering after last year show managed to bring in the punters again.

Bottom 3 predictions – Brianna, Carl, and Ben.

It is time to go Brianna. Carl will limp on for another week.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Brianna signing her own death warrant???

Rumours were flying this week that there were photos of Brianna doing unspecified actions with Matt Corby in a spa.

Fingers crossed they emerge soon in the mags or internet.

Maybe she was in damage control and trying to show she did get on with the younger ones in the hours after her comments in TV Week that said she thought some of the housemates were immature. I presume comments like will not win her any popularity contests either inside or outside the house.

Brianna should expect a voting backlash from Matt's teeny fans for sullying him so expect her already low vote to be further down this week. My prediction is she will be in danger of being voted out and dead set cert for bottom three.

Matt being an early contender for this year Idols crown may also find his nice boy image tarnished by playing tonsil hockey with Brianna. Especially since earlier this week they set him up with a aw shucks what a nice guy story regarding a girl he liked and how they were waiting until the whole Idol thing blew over to get it together. He may also find himself losing some of his large fan base to the other heartthrobs on the show.

They are not the only ones using Idol as an opportunity to get some horizontal folk dance action. Mark De Costa was alleged to have been using his 'fame' to pull some tottie in a night club in Sydney. The Daily Tele states he was sleazing around until he finally pulled. Disgruntled patrons said he was sleazy. Good on him if you are not going to get a recording contract out of the show the bare minimum you can expect is to get laid.

I thought he had a girlfriend in the audience - but maybe it was his sister. If not I suspect there will be some interesting phone conversations today - will she believe that he did in fact just share a cab to their seperate residences as the Channel 10 publicists tried to spin it.

As the rocker of the show isn't he meant to drink copious amount of alcohol, drugs, and sleep with at least three groupies a day? Well the theme is rock on the show this Sunday so maybe he is just getting in some early practice.

Idol Gossip!

It has been a busy week in Idol PR land where the publicists slowly drip feed the awaiting public tidbits of information on the contestants.

However they have not been able to control it all.

Holly who was voted off on Monday - which I predicted - and immediately turned around and shitbagged the program. Saying it was not the right avenue for her... What hypocrisy -if she had managed to schlep through to the final three she would have thought it was utopia.

She will slink back to Mildura to continue to pour VB schooners never to be heard of again. Who can ever remember the first person voted of Idol in the past years. I don't think one of them ever achieved even a modicum of fame nor achieved a record contract.

Her best hope for her next 2 seconds of fame is to be bridesmaid at Jesse wedding to James Blundell.

Speaking of which hopefully this week will be the last time we have to read about that nauseating romance in the gossip mags.

Your intrepid blogger disguised as a can of baked beans managed to scan read the Womans Day article in her local supermarket. Where it embarassingly said that after her semifinal show Blundell was all over her like a rash - and the Channell 10 people felt sorry for her. I had to grab some alka selza on the way out to quell my heaving stomach.

The saga continued the next day in New Idea where the wife spoke out. Saying she was devasted when he walked out - however managed to outline in many ways what a prick he was. So why did she want him to stay??

Good on her for being smart enough to get a plug in for her website business You've Been Gifted. Link here she needs all the help she can get as she quite rightly pointed out she won't be getting much alimony out of him!

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Australian Idol Final 12 - I won't be voting this week

First finals show of the year and it was all a bit ho-hum. There were some good performances but no great ones. Maybe it was the low recognition of songs because of the old farts radio station I listen to.

No theme and I don't think that helped the show - it just seemed like a continuation from the semis - everyone just singing the songs they knew and were comfortable with.

It was good to see Dicko out of the polo shirts, but what was the story with Marcia and the Paris Hiltonesque hair extensions??? She looked a bit like mutton spice. Hopefully coral will be out of fashion by next weeks show.

The four judges did not really work with me. In fact I thought Kyle was the best one last night as he did not fall about gushing about the lame Carl Rissey Waltzing Matilda. Has Kyles forehead moved in the whole three seasons he has been on the show? Also he did not seem to be pushing in for air time which the other three were doing.

The boy contestants are splitting into the ones that can't shave and the ones that won't. I can see Gillette stepping in as a sponsor by mid season. Speaking of which where were the tampon ads tonight is the demographic for the show changing?

Ben the young 17 year old who gave the most amazing performance in the semis last week, which just screamed star was bland tonight. Hopefully he has not peaked to early in the comp.

Mark who is thankfully in the competition to give the over thirties female something to perve at was ordinary, all his performances have been the same thus far. But he did look good doing it. Why would you pick a U2 song after Jesse Curran did one - it only brought back memories of James Blundell smirking in the front row last week.

Lana - how did this girl get through were we going to have another telstra scandal ala Laura? Had a boyfriend hacked through to the voting computer? Must confess was a bit of a surprised tonight, as I expected her to be twee again but thought she looked and sounded good. She did not try and sex herself up and was age appropriate. I enjoyed her performance. Ok I confess I am an Imbruglia fan.

Daniel - Is this the only guy in Darlo with chest hair? Look I know he is good looking, and has a good voice, but I fine him extremely ordinary. Every song he sings he just makes it boring.
Maybe a good make over would help - haircut, shave and NO scarfs.... I don't see him winning. In fact the sooner he is out of the comp the better.

Carl - The all American oops I meant Aust boy. Will Johnny Howard seek an endorsement from him to help him with the much needed youth vote. I agreed with Kyle entirely about Waltzing Matilda lame, lame, lame. This is not the Mike Walsh Show. But give him ten points for smart choice I would be very surprised to see him in the bottom three tomorrow night. Chicks who dig uniforms will be voting in spades. He will be out once the themes start.

Holly - She was one of my faves from the semis - and I thought she looked fab tonight. But thought the song choice was brave. She needed to do a stunt like the fat lesbo leader singer of the Gossip does and flash her twot or something to be bring in the votes - she is a definate bottom 3.

Matt - Gosh the camera loves him. Reminded me of Dean Geyer in the way he came across on TV just something about his looks. His confidence was amazing. Appreciated but was not moved by the performance. If I had to take a punt I would guess he will win.

Natalie - big fan thought her performance was again good but not great. But wow is there going to be another revelation from Vic Larusso about her father. I know there are straight hairdressers I just don't think he is one of them.

Jacob - one of my faves of the night must be cause I want to keep some guys in the comp who are over 25. The not shaving peer pressure had obviously gotten to him as well.

Tarasai - Mini Marsha just did not move me. Yes her voice is strong. But I would have to say she would barely make it to the semi finals in American Idol - because they really do have some big african american voices over there. Because it is a limited field here they think she is a sensation. Marcia was the first to cotton onto this niche market and carved out a career in Oz post the Hair musical whereas in the US her career would have faded into obscurity. In fact I wish she would do that here.

Marty aka stoner dude - oh man I hope he is the one to go tonight clearly he is one dimensional and once Idol starts compulsory drug testing it is only going to get worse, as he will have to cut loose his dealer. This guy will die on the theme nights. A part of me hopes he sticks around just so I can get a laugh out of him doing disco. I hope he is the one to go.

Brianna - Enjoyed her performance - however have to agree with Dicko she has to stop the quirky crap and let her talent shine through as it is really going to start to be annoying. I also felt she is not used to criticism she looked shocked that they did not gush over her performance.

I hope this years idol can pull out some interesting singers like last year like Bobby Flynn, Lisa Mitchell, and Damien Leith, but have to this say at this stage there is only one star and that is Matt Corby.

My pick for Bottom Three - Holly, Marty, and Lana.

Holly to go.

Is James Blundell using Idol to ressurect his mediocre career?

James Blundell after years of playing at rodeo after parties finally hit the metropolitan media again with the news he was doing the wild thing with an Australian Idol Semi Finalist 23 year old Jesse Curran.

Hitting Page 3 of the Sunday Tele the night before her semi-final was always going to make it difficult for the talented idol contestant whose image went from sweet country girl to conniving skank in the time it took to read seven paragraphs.

Her cause was not helped by him sitting in the front row trying to hide under a baseball cap - which was about as clever disguise as a Chaser crew member dressing up as Osama Bin Laden to get through APEC security (Oops sorry that one did work).

Who was advising them? Why was he not told to stay away? Clearly his management decided this was an opportunity to get Blundell back on the D List.

This young lass was naive enough to think it was wonderful he was showing his support - not realising that any slim hope she had of getting through to the final 12 had evaporated once his wrinkled mug got on the camera.

In a couple of years/months time once she is sick of him having to pop a blue pill to perform and listening to his I shouda gone to Nashville stories she will realise that he effectively killed her career before it even started. Love if it was a bit of hotness like George Clooney it would have been worth it.

Unfortunately the saga continues as he has whored his story to a weekly gossip mag. Mate I don't even think that will get you playing at the Rooty Hill RSL again.

Stay tuned for sightings of the pair at fake tan launches, and straight to DVD movie nights.