Reality Ravings

Jade was having a crisis of confidence at the opening of this episode, as last week she had the ignominy of being in the bottom two. Lucky for her it was the pixie like Mollie-Sue that was given the bullet.

(Raver apologises for not giving the episode recap last week the highlight being the girls having to do a Covergirl commercial - hilarious, and the ongoing saga of Nnenna's boyfriend who she was going to dump, but the manipulative Jade was trying to mindfuck her by telling her to stay with him).

A sobbing Jade said that this competition was a "trip" whatever that means. But with Jade you know nothing is going to keep her down for long.

Anyway while Jade was taking a hiatus from being house bitch - Brooke decided to take over that mantel.

Brooke is the model with the bee stung lips that Melanie Griffith is trying to achieve by putting large amounts of filler in hers. If you really need to look at a bad photo of Melanie Griffith click here.
Brooke does not like Nnenna, for the reason she hogs the phone to talk to lame arse boyfriend (fair enough), and also they appear to have some friction between them.

I note they have phone cam, but no toilet cam to show the bulimic contestants!

Brooke at the end of her tether goes into the phone room, and explains to Nnenna that other people may want to use the phone. Nneena ignores her and starts to dial a number while Brooke is talking to her (now that was uncalled for).

Well at this point Brooke lost it with her - just prior to this Brooke is talking straight to the camera about how she is normally so nice and sweet, and then this clanger comes out of her mouth.

In a disparaging tone "She's from Africa" and "If it is so great why doesn't she go back there". At this point I was wondering which Klu Klux Klan club Miss Brooke was member of.

Also she stormed up the hallway and called her a "fucking Bitch" of course Channel 10 bleeped out the swear word, but I am presuming that was what she was saying.

Nneena was like care factor - zero.

Anyway after all that it was time to get on with the modelling.

First Miss Jay looking very unglamourous - I get the feeling he is not a morning person - gave the girls a training session in how to deal with accessories on the catwalk eg how to take off gloves and coats.

Most of the girls are struggling with the catwalk, with Danielle, Jade and Joanie probably the best at it.

Then they were off to meet the "aswirling" twins, these were two camp black twins who were going to teach the girls how to swirl on the catwalk.

Do they really get paid for this? Is their some kind of welfare to work program in America where you pick some extremely specialised role in the fashion industry and are able to make a living?

In Cycle 9 currently on Fox 8 there is another guy who is a posing instructor - how much work can there be for those people?

I think my new career will be as a makeup artist for fashion shows - "But I only do the lips darling".

Anyway the aswirling twins taught them how to swirl and swirl and swirl. Sara who is so stiff was dreadful.

Then it was onto a challenge.

It was a fashion parade in a church. Apparently in the time of black segregation in the US, fashion shows in Churches were very popular. It is a big tradition in the black community.

The designer was Lloyd Klein - loved his clothes, and also diamond designer Sol Rafeal. The winner of the challenge was going to get a $25,000 diamond ring.

Joanie and Jade were the two best and appeared to have actually learnt something from the aswirling twins. In fact I thought Jade went a bit over the top with her swirling, but then again a fashion parade in a church is a bit OTT.

Leslie, Brooke, and Sara were all dreadful.

Anyway Jade won the challenge, and once again the confidence and 'tude was oozing from her. The thing I wonder about Jade is why did it take her until cycle 6 to audition for America's Next Top Model? As she is 26 which is like 80 in modelling years.

Jade got the ring on her finger, and she was then asked to pick another girl to get a $10,00 ring she picked Furonda, and then Furonda was asked to pick a girl to get an $8000 ring, and she picked Nneenna. So it was good to see the sisters sticking together.

Is Furonda anorexic? She is so scrawny.

Brooke had a meltdown to her dad, as had Sara earlier that day to her boyfriend. It was the episode of tears.

Next day it was photoshoot time. They were doing a shoot for Payless Shoes. It was all about the shoes, but they were going to get some help from some Krumpers. For those of you who watch So you Think You Can Dance, you will know that Krumping is a derivative of hip-hop which originated from South Central LA.

It is pretty energetic.

So the girls were going to have to get down and boogie.

Jay Manual was fashion director for the shoot, and Trevor was the photographer.

Joanie was up first and she was good, however Jay was concerned about her mean face.

Scrawny Furonda was limp like a rag doll.

Danielle was pretending she danced like a white girl, but she got down and grooved.

Sara predictably awkward.

Nneena just kept on posing, I thought she would be able to get into this one better.

Leslie's posing was repetitive and dull.

Brooke was awkward but her hair looked wild it was done as an afro.

Jade just sizzled, and at the end of the shoot poured water on herself. Jay Manual was squealing with delight. "That is something Tyra would have done" he gushed.

It was judgement day.

The judges were Nigel, Miss Jay, Twiggy, Tyra, and Roy Campbell special event producer.

First their test was to show the panel their signature walk, then do a smooth turn like a doll on a carousel. Tyra of course gave an example on how to do it perfectly.

Most of the girls bummed out on it - except for Joanie.

Then it was time to go through the photos.

They loved Joanie, and Jade (apparently she looked young in her photo - clearly her age is going to hinder her going all the way).

Brooke after her dud shoot, did take the best shot I had seen of her. For weeks I thought she had been overrated and couldn't see what the judges saw in her, but she looked great. Maybe the angle of the photographer shooting from the ground allowed her huge chin to be disguised.

Joanie was first to go through, followed by Jade and Furonda.

Brooke, Sara and Leslie were predictably bottom three.

Brooke skimmed through leaving a nervous Sara and Leslie awaiting their fate.

They decided to give Sara another shot and disappointingly Leslie (who I thought took great shots) was eliminated.