Reality Ravings

The American Idol San Diego auditions raised a few question for me.

1. If you were suicidal and standing on a bridge would you really want Simon Cowell to be the one who tried to talk you down?

2. Was it just a wild rumour that auditionees were able to audition with musical instruments, as after watching five hours of Idol I have yet to see one.

3. Are people over 23 who take their mothers to the audition mentally stable?

4. Is it me or does Randy Jackson noticeably perk up when a good looking blonde chick comes into the room?

5. And lastly why is a good looking Australian guy auditioning for American Idol when their is a paucity of hot men auditioning here for Australian Idol - unless you like 16 year olds. Come home Michael Johns, come home.

Anyway back to the 12,000 who auditioned in San Diego . A city which ended up putting 30 people through to Hollywood.

First in the doors was Tetiana Ostiwich(sic) a good looking blond girl which of course Randy perked up when he saw. I notice he doesn't call the good looking chicks dawg.

Simon recycled a line that he had used last week in Dallas (apologies for no blogging at of that episode but switching ISP providers is causing havoc) and said "I don't think you are as good as you think you are" Anyway she was given Wonka's golden ticket to Hollywood.

Then there was the obligatory heartstring puller contestant, you have to have at least one each episode. Tonight it was Perrie Cataldo a single father of a four year old boy. The mother died doing the wrong think in the wrong place. My interpretation was drugs - but hell she could have been drag racing. The son was very cute.

Perrie had a kind off boy band voice and was given the golden ticket to start his journey of getting a better life for his son.

Then in walks in 28 year old Michael Johns walks in. An Australian living in LA. At first I thought great the irish have taken over Australian Idol, why don't we take over American Idol. However after looking at him again and hearing his dulcet tones singing an Otis Reading number I was like come home. We had to put up with the boy like Matt Corby and the bland Daniel Mifsud, when this guy could have really given us something to drool about.

Anyway Michael if you don't make top 12 there you can always audition in Australia later on in the year - you have a great chance to walk up those Opera House steps. In fact I am going to start a Facebook page called "Michael Johns should audition for Oz Idol".

He got the ticket to Hollywood so we should see more of him.

Next was an hilarious audition by Valerie Reyes who seriously thought she had a voice to challenge Mariah Careys's. It was a dawg's breakfast. It went up and down like a rollercoaster and with less control.

The funny thing was she was shocked she was rejected then said "I am going to be on the rejects - how uncool!"

The last contestant of the day brought her sister, and they were both huge Simon Cowell fans. Samantha Musa the sister who auditioned was quite cute. Randy was thinking why does nasty Simon get all the cute ones liking him and I only get the fat black chicks singing badly to me?

Anyway the producers set it up so the sister got to sit on Simon's lap and once Samantha got through to Hollywood (at least she was not a total lame fan) they both got to hug him.

First up on day 2 was Blake Boshnack a compulsive auditionee who has auditioned 11 times. Once dressed as the Statue of Liberty. Hilarious. His mother who was clearly sees Lindsay Lohan's mother as a role model takes him to all the auditions and so badly wants him to get to Hollywood.

Blake seemed like a sweet guy, but his rendition of Stand by Me was not going to get him on that plane to LA.

Next was some camp latino dude with long hair and nails call Alberto Hurtado who had painted on a giant fan Huge American Idol Fan. That was cool, however him singing his own song was not so cool.

As the lyrics and the singing were very dour Simon did not like it. After a short conversation Alberto goes "but I have had stuff happen in my life." The ever sympathetic Simon goes "well I have had a bad morning and I just have to get on with it."

Simon you get paid a lot of money to sit there for 10 hours in a room being pampered by producers and makeup artists, whereas this blokes career options are probably limited flipping burgers, or cross dressing as a pregnant Selma Hayak.

Day 2's sob story was David Archuleta a 16 year old who had had a paralysed vocal chord. But apparently it was all better now - and it was, after singing a John Meyer song he was Hollywood bound.

Last was Irish Carly Smithson (are the Irish taking over all Idols worldwide?) who auditioned in 2005 got through to the next round but had visa issues and was disqualified.

This time it was all ok and after a quick song she was given her golden ticket. If she gets through to the finals shows she should not bring her freak show tattoo artist husband. He may be nice but his severe body mutilation is cringeworthy and won't win her any votes except from bikers.
What do these people look like when they are 60 and their face is all wrinkly?Also what will their children think?