Reality Ravings

Watching the opening gambit on Dancing With the Stars is like viewing Groundhog day, the same skit over and over and over with the Myer plug thrown in. Come on guys mix it up a bit.

At least the movie had the droll Bill Murray to provide the entertainment.

As I started getting bored with their opening routine. I was again fascinated by Sonja Kruger's hair, if there was an RSPCA for hair she would definitely be reported. It is bleached and hairsprayed that you can almost see it snapping. By Season 10 of the show she will be wearing a wig. Since Jessica Rowe won't be using hers again she could borrow that one.

It was latin night tonight, so we were expecting some sizzle, we got a little heat mixed with some tepid performances.

First up was Patti and Sandro dancing the Samba. Clearly Patti wanted to emulate the sensational bolero routine that David Hobson did last week, and she came out singing and looking like Carmen Miranda. It was all a bit camp in a boring way. I have surprisingly enjoyed Patti, but she looked gawky and unco in this routine. However she still scored a respectable 28.

James and Olya were up next dancing a rhumba. Poor bastard had another car race, not that you would have known about it from Channel 7, clearly they were not televising it like the Bathurst 1000, so he had limited rehearsal time, and it showed. The judges felt sorry for him but had to judge the dancing he scored a low 18.

He may not have had the time for rehearsals but he did have the time to wax his chest and tango with a can of fake tan. Which raises the issue is it a cardinal sin to be a ballroom dancer and have chest hair? Not one of them men (Mark Berretta included) had a chest hair in sight.

Jessica and Serghei danced the samba. Is Jessica Rowe suffering from an eating disorder? She looked like a cross between skeletor and a Cindy doll. It was disturbing, which is also a way to describe the routine. It was sooooooo bad. Forgotten steps, unco-ordinated, and cheesy. She does not do sexy well.

The judges laid into them, and James started breathing a sigh of relief knowing they would now be safe for another week. Todd McKenney was correct in saying it is not over until the fat lady sings, however she is clearing her throat. The received the lowest score this season with a 14.

David Hobson and Karina were next with a Rhumba.This pairing is looking strong, as his theatrics are pulling him through. It was one of my favourite routines of the night playing out the mediocre nightclub singer with the nightclub dancer. Todd McKenney said it reminded him of the last show on the top deck of the aloha cruise ship. Somewhere Helen may have been at that lounge tonight. Her outfit looked like she had made it with some curtains she had stolen from a faded Surfers Parisdise resort. They scored a very respectable 31. I am still trying to work out whether he is gay or straight.

Speaking of which, the camp Mark Beratta and Linda were up next with the samba. He was channelling the late and great Peter Allen. I did love his moves with the maracas. It was his best routine by far, but he is still not a great dancer. He scored a very respectable 29, however I think the channel 7 personality's on this show seem to get at least 2 points higher then they should get.

Bridie and Craig danced a beautiful Rhumba, which they scored a 36 for and Mark gave it a perfect 10. Todd also said it was the best paired couple he had seen in all seven series. She still leaves me cold, however I think she be very hard to beat.

Last was the amusing An Doh and Luda, dressed as Pocahontas and Hiawatha with fire tricks as well. I thought it was a great routine, yes he does dance the same each week, but at least he is co-ordinated. The judges were harsh while scoring for him and gave it a 27.

Sonya Kruger made me laugh when she said that he was the whitest guy in the green room. Channel 7 makeup obviously got the fake tan in bulk.

No special guests on the show tonight - probably everyone is saving themselves for the Arias.

It is getting down to the business end of proceedings, with the competitors starting to get hungry to win. However Jessica Rowe's opportunity has finished as she was eliminated. It will be interesting to see where she goes now at channel seven.