Reality Ravings

Now all last year I was blaming Sheridan Tyler for Natalie's disasterous clothes on Australian Idol, but after looking at this fugly outfit clearly I was very wrong indeed. Is she on the drugs Britany Spears was taking when she was having her meltdown.

She said it was bought in an op shop in London for 6 pounds. Shepaid that much for it I could have got it from Best and Less and Spotlight for $5.00.

I am speechless.

Michael Johns Has Hit Sydney
Aussie American Idol contestant Michael Johns is now in Australia for a promotional trip for Idol. Not sure what he is going to do, but Fox 8 has brought him out.

He will probably hit the radio airwaves and TV talk shows.

Small SMH article here.

Hilarious article pointing out Paula Abdul's weird and unexplained moments.
MTV has an article here that outlines American Idol judge Paula Abdul's other unexplained faux pas on the show. It has been all over the world about last weeks slip up of judging the song before it has been sung. But MTV have dredged their memories to come up with some more.



Natalie Gauci Recording An Album
Sightings of last year's Australian Idol winner have been slim as she is in the studio recording an album. Apparently they are wanting to take it slowly to ensure it is a quality album. A strategy which worked for Damien Leith last year, as well as Leona Lewis.

Revlon say Alice Burdeau stood them up at an event because of partying too hard.
Revlon allege that last season's winner of Australia's Next Top Model Alice Burdeau stood them up for an event the night after the Logies. It was rumoured that she may have knocked back to much of the free champagne and was not in any shape to make it.

Her people deny it of course, and say Alice was never confirmed for the event. However apparently she was unable to speak at the MTV awards, this was reported on Vega. Maybe she is trying to emulate fashion icon Kate Moss too much. Or maybe she should just eat a few more canapes with her champagne.

An addendum to the above article in today's Daily Tele states an 'anon source' said she did look disorientated at the Logies. She apparently arrived 3 hours before the start of the ceremony and was a bit squiffy even before it started. A minder said she was back in her hotel by 1.00am.

Personally I thought it was obligatory to get smashed at the Logies as that was the only way to cope with the evening.

Carl Risley to get a Gig

It has been announced that Carl Risley on 4barrest.com - the worlds most visited brass website (how do you prove that claim?) that there will be a gala concert in Brisbane Friday the 21 March 2008 featuring the he United States Air Force Band of the Pacific "Alaska Brass".

Also the Brisbane Army Band will play, as will Australian Idol third place getter the swinging Carl Risley. It is not clear on their website whether he will be sing with the army band or separately. If you were keen to know you could contact the organisers website link above.

Natalie Gauci looking hot
In the Daily Tele gossip column there is a Natalie Gauci looking fantastic walking the red carpet at the 2Day FM and Sony BMG hits and stars party on Thursday night. She looks like she has lost weight and her hair looked great pulled up. No Jenny Craig contract for her.....

Wade Robson to choreograph a ballet
Hot So You Think You Can Dance choreographer, Wade Robson, has announced he will be choreographing his first ballet to debut on January 23 for San Francisco Ballet's 75th Anniversary.

After that Robson's next project is that of choreographer for the new Cirque du Soleil production starring Criss Angel at the Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas.

Is there anything this guy cannot do? I hope he leaves time to be a guest choreographer on the upcoming Australian version of So You Think You Can Dance, which hits our TV screens on Feb 1.

Season 2008 It Takes Two bookies odds have been released

When you see a headline Gay Favourite for singing contest you think has Tim Campbell signed up for It Takes Two - however it is in fact Virginia Gay and actress on All Stars who is the favourite to take out the show.



I have never heard of her but clearly she must have a huge personal following. It will make a change from having a Home and Away star take out the title.

I was looking for some concert reviews of Matt Corby and Natalie Gauci's concerts.

I found one on a fan site http://forums.nataliegaucimusic.com/index.php?showtopic=520

Which gives the big thumbs up to Natalie.

I will keep on searching for more.

Natalie Gauci's debut Album 'The Winner's Journey' tanks.

Apparently it did not make top 10 and on debut only made number. Not great considering Damien Leith's went to number one pre-xmas.

Her Winner's Journey only sold 11,489 copies nationally, compared to the 89,000 albums Damien Leith sold in the first week after releasing his collection of Idol performances

Monty from the Daily Tele gives his opinion why this has occurred.

I feel a bit sorry for her, however some of the song selection from all them not just her was not great.

Channel 7 Is Dreaming
In a bizarre newspaper blurb, it said that Channel 7 were hoping to get Hugh Jackman to be the compere of Dancing With the Stars next season.

I know he is in town filming Australia with Nicole Kidman, and then another Wolverine movie starts here and in NZ but can you really seeing him slumming himself on Dancing With the Stars.

For God sake David Leckie get a grip do you really think a major super star like Hugh is going to want to do this show, let alone would Channel 7 have the budget to pay him. David I think you just better get Larry Emdur.

If you are wondering what to get for a Natalie Gauci and Matt Corby fan for xmas a DVD will be released on the 17 December called The Final 2.

The blurb states "The DVD will feature all of the best performances from the show by the final 2 contenders of the 2007 series - Natalie Gauci and Matt Corby!"

So I doubt the infamous rock night performances will be on there. The Idol franchise is looking to squeeze as much money as possible from this poor year of Australian Idol, and must think by having Matt Corby on the DVD as well will boost sales.

Here is the link to the live blog Natalie Gauci did the other day on the Daily Tele website/

Nothing salacious or revelatory on it, unless you are interested about the fact she used to have a dog who pissed on her couch.

In other news in todays paper, it said the Idol's North Qld gigs had been cancelled due to give Natalie and Matt Corby a rest! Is this code for poor ticket sales? As I have said previously in a pre-christmas, high interest rate environment, the ticket price seemed a bit high.

If you want more information on the cancelled concerts here is the link

On the Sony BMG website is list of Natalie Gauci's tour dates. A reality ravings regular informed me that the tickets in Wollongong were $70.

I am afraid that is to rich for my blood. I think the Kylie Minogue tickets last time were barely more then that, and you got a whole stage show oh and a worldwide superstar with masses of hits.

Is Natalie going to have a stage spectacular going?

Anyone who goes to a concert I would love to hear what you think. Apparently Matt Corby will be the support act for a lot of these performances.

Natalie Gauci this years winner of Australian Idol has hit another first since being the first winner who was a 'judges' choice to take out the title. She is now the first Idol's winner whose single has NOT gone to number 1.

This maybe because not as many people this year are watching the show therefore not as many will buy the single.

Or as the Daily Telegraph hypothesises that it may be due to the fact that the Idol's especially Matt Corby dissed the song.

Natalie gets to do the "The Winners Journey" tour around Australia over January and February as one of the prizes/obligations of being this years Australian Idol.

A list of the gigs are here For Sydney fans Matt Corby will be also be playing at the two Sydney gigs on the 4 and 5 of January at the Star City Casino.

Just an aside - Natalie may be pleased that she achieved some international blogging attention, however it was for all the wrong reasons. She made it onto the very popular and addictive Go Fug Yourself.

Link here if you want a laugh

The campaigns had finished, the votes had been counted, the crowds was cheering, and all of Australia wanted to know the result. Who was going to win the election whoops I meant Idol?

At least the bookmakers got the election right however they got it resoundingly wrong with Idol paying $2.35 for aNatalie Gauci's victory compared to $1.57 for Matt Corby's. I knew I should have put a lazy $50 on bet on her.

Channel 10 were continuing to trying to keep the money rolling in by enticing us to vote during the show by saying there was less then one percent between them. This must have been to pay for the extravagent fireworks display they were going to unleash. I wonder if we are the only Idol country who puts on a spectacular pyrotechnic display over our iconic harbour.

Tonight it was a contest between the wog's and the white breads with the contrast apparent when the camera's threw to the supporters parties. There was ethnic Melbourne compared to the anglo-saxon shire(or as the Shire residents like to say - God's country) in Sydney.

But first there were hours to fill before they would announce the winner, there were former Idols to perform, and other Channel 10 shows to plug, and of course the ubiquitous Final 12 performance medley's to sit through.

Chris Murphy interviewing on the red carpet made a nice change from the blonde buxom women who usually are given the role.

Guy Sebastian must have thought he was on Rove answering his standard question "Who would you turn gay for?" when Guy revealed to Chris Murphy when he looked into Matt Corby's eyes he felt a little attracted to him.

The one weird thing was Casey Donovan was there with her personal trainer Guy Leech, but they did not let her speak. Apparently she has lost 20 kgs with more to go.

Young Divas were the first to perform on the outside stage at the opera house with there new single a cover of Turn Me Loose. The dangerously close camera angles going up Emily Williams, and Paulini dresses which made James Mathison quip "The shows classification rating nearly was changed" If either girl had been going commando it would have been tears before bedtime."

James was on fire tonight with witty one liner after another.

Damien Leith performed his new single, and he is continuing to build on his post Idol career with Andrew G revealing Damien's tour has sold out.

He actually looked pretty cute in his glitter suit and skinny tie. Has he had his teeth done?

Channel 10 then did some flashbacks to some humorous (read really bad) contestants from the yesteryear's of Idol. Though the only horrifying thing was Dicko's mullet, and Mark Holden's cow licks.

The much hyped up Divinyls were next up and for the viewers at home we got to watch it twice, as the first time the feed cut half way through and they went to an ad break. So once they returned they replayed it.

Chrissie Amphlett has shown how to avoid botox as you hit your middle years, just grow a fringe that goes to your nose so no one sees your forehead or eyes.

At this point Reality Raver must confess to being a huge Divinyls fan and have seen them in concert a few times. Loved the song, loved the singing, but her continuing to do the sultry sexy young pouty look whilst performing made me cringe a little. I think people should age disgracefully but she was taking it too far. Personally I think she should hire a movement coach to see how they can change that part of the performance for their upcoming tour.

I see they got around that problem in the Divinyls new singles video clip by just having animation.

Also if anyone can interpret her answer to Andrew G's question of what advice would you give these two idols I would really appreciate it. I had presumed she was over the drug phase of her life by now. Even Andrew G looked confused, but as the consummate professional managed to segue it into a promotion for their new single.

Shannon Noll was up on stage next. He is probably the most successful former Idol, but I don't understand, who does he appeal to? I thought his song was particularly ordinary.

Next up was the first time I had seen the Australian So You Think You Can Dance judges together on TV. Bonnie Lythgoe, Matt Lee, and Jason Coleman were saying our auditions had elicited some amazing dancers.

The final 20 for that show must now be finalised as they then did a dance on the outside stage. It was so exciting, and there seemed to be a great mix of dancers. The dance was just high energy with lots of different styles. Unfortunately we will have to wait until Feb to begin watching the series.

The Mum's That Rock competition winner was on next. She was ok as she channelled Janice Joplin, however she will never get an invitation to join the Young Divas as she can actually remember the original versions of the songs they cover.

Natalie Bassingwaite, who is also host of the Australian version of SYTYCD, had her other hat on tonight as lead singer of the Rogue Traders.

She roared onto stage on a motorbike looking hot and started pouting and singing like Wendy James from the Brit pop-punk band Transvision Vamp. The song ended with kung fu fighters coming on stage and doing routines from a bad B grade '70's kung fu movie.

Then it was Natalie and Matt's big moment, they arrived at the opera house in stretch porsche. Matt was wearing a blue velvet suit, and Natalie was wearing a dress that looked like Bjork's infamous swan dress had been recycled. They clutched hands and they both looked like they were going to the prom together.

After getting badly groped by the crowd where I think Matt had every right to say "Don't touch the hair man" they arrived at the top of steps, and it was time for the final 12's first song of the night.

They sang Lionel Ritchie's " All Night Long". When they first started singing it I thought what a strange song couldn't they have picked something more modern, but all was revealed when Lionel Ritchie jumped onto the stage. I have got to confess it was cheesy, but I loved it. For once the superstar surprise promised, was a superstar surprise.

Lionel gave some great advice which Matt could well heed. "The positive things about these shows is that they let people know you are in the business, otherwise it is very difficult for people to know" Hopefully this will stop Matt whining about his musical credibility for awhile.

I wish Andrew G had taken the opportunity to ask when Lionel's daughter Nicole's baby is due.

Next was another Idol medley with Natalie and Matt changing outfits, Natalie still kept her $1 millon worth of diamonds on - clever girl.

One of the songs was Fat Boy's Slim of "Praise You" I was wondering if this was some sort of comment on the Hillsong Church controversy which has been plaguing the show.

I noticed in the medley's Tarasai barely got any singing solo time, have they sidelined her? She came fifth, and other people who finished lower then her like Brianna got more lines to sing. Interesting.

I was disturbed that I still found Carl Risley looking hot this evening, and good news for the female fans, apparently he was spotted out and about have a huge fight with his girlfriend.

Next there was a review of Natalie's Idol journey which was great. It would be good if the SYTYCD producers take this idea out of Idol's book and on the last show play the final two journey's before they announce the winner. I found that very disappointing last week in the american SYTYCD finale not seeing Danny's and Sabra's journey for the last time.

Then they did the grandparents couldn't make it video, but then lo and behold they turn up on stage trick, which I really did not see the point of.

Natalie then did a great rendition of "Man in the Mirror".

Next we got to see Matt Corby's journey which again was interesting. He did do some great songs. It was just his last month's form slump that made me forget that.

Then his "mentor" Jarrod Clark came on stage. Now Jarrod looked like he had been imbibing alot of the green rooms free alcohol, and was very modest when asked whether he had shown Matt how to play and perform. Also kissed him and did a weird gesture over his face with his hand. They clearly used to go to the same hairdresser or is that lanky layer look becoming fashionable for men. I really hope Matt does not start some sort of trend.

Also the other trend I hope he does not start is the red tights look, it showed off his lunch box or as the french might say his "petite dejuener" if you get my drift.

Matt then sang Bittersweet Symphony very nicely.

Then another final 12 performance where again Tarasai was sidelined, and Carl looked hot.

Then James announced the winner of the Mazda and that was a shock Holly who won, maybe voters had felt sorry for her as James said " You must have impressed on the one episode you were on"

Then it was time to announce the winner, and it was a shocked Natalie Gauci. Everyone stood up and applauded and Marcia stood there with her hand out as if she was anointing the new messiah. Marcia then predictably burst into tears.

Natalie kept her composure and sang her new single "Here I Am" which will be on sale from tomorrow, and then there was the usual lovefest of stage before the credits rolled it was all over for another year.

It was always going to be a huge night for Matt Corby and Natalie Gauci, but first we had to have them and Dicko go through the walk of shame for comments they had made to the media this week.

Andrew G and James Mathison dressed in Reservoir Dogs type outfits were the ones to give them the interrogation regarding their comments which hit all major metropolitan newspapers. At least the razor was not used like it was in the Tarantino flick to elicit their confessions or contrition.

Dicko was first up. I wrote about his media foot in mouth in a previous post called Dicko Speaks The Fountain of Truth. To summarise he thought the final two were bland and boring.

Tonight that article was projected up giant size on the backwall of the studio stage. With a please explain from Andrew and James.

Dicko who had huge bags under his eyes"Said he cannot remember saying it", however he did confess to agreeing it was what he thought. " He said it was not just them, but he thought the final 12 were a bit lightweight, and may find it difficult to stay in the limelight once they are starved of the oxygen of a weekly show."

So this may have also explained the top 12's trip to Granville MacDonalds to be taught how to flip burgers.

Next up was Matt Corby and Natalie Gauci's huge faux pas of calling the winners single "Here I am" a dud. In today's Sunday Telegraph an article outlined that both Matt and Natalie were not entirely overwhelmed by the song they will release if they win next week.

They both said they had been misquoted - rather unconvincingly mind you. It is a wonder they were not holding their butts after the arsekicking they would have got from both the Idol producers, and Sony BMG. Denis Handlin, head of BMG/Sony, must have choked on his cornflakes this morning when he read it.

Natalie and Matt need to go to Marketing 101 to learn always speak positively about the product you are spruiking.

Anyway after the 1 minute of humiliation it was time to hear the song that had caused all the kerfuffle.

Matt Corby was given the honour of opening the show with "Here I Am", but first we had to sit through an overview of Matt's short life.

In summary he has been performing all his life. Was bullied at school because he was in the choir (I thought that sort of thing did not occur at non-govt schools) so he quit, the choir not the school. Then he was in some Youth Community Band which toured around schools to try and instill some self esteem into the kiddies. They did not mention whether this band was christian affiliated, they probably wanted to avoid that as they did no want another week of Today Tonight stories on Hillsong stacking Idol.

After that he came back home, and was rejected by Newtown Performing Arts High School, and he received a scholarship back at his previous school. Matt has already indicated he is not going back to school so he can pursue a musical career.

Finally the song. Well these winner's songs are always unisex anthems, but Matt really looked like he was not enjoying singing it, therefore it was really boring. Even he was falling asleep singing as at least half the time his eyes were closed.

Next up was Natalie Gauci with the story of her life. She too has been performing since very young, and had a semi impressive tv, and singing portfolio. This year she actually released a self funded EP and was invited to New York to perform it.

Natalie's first song was "Apologise" by Timbaland. I had never heard of the song, and found it hitting both of Dicko's descriptives of boring and bland.

The Confidence Coach then interviewed John Rowe, movement coach, Erina, voice coach, and John Foreman, musical director about this years Idol.

This girl is never going to take over from Parkinson. John Foreman said that Matt had had a semi nervous breakdown - well John called it a confidence crisis- midway through the series, but now he was starting to put together some good performances.

I wonder if this crisis came when he was bottom two that time with Ben.

John Rowe said "They needed to find their star quality" Which would indicate he thinks neither has achieved this yet.

Matt then sang a cover version of a cover version called "High and Dry" Apparently a British jazz singer Jamie Cullen covered this Radiohead song.

Carl Risley must have been wondering where wardrobe had been hiding Matt's shirt, it was perfect crooner style. It was a black with a sequin open tie in a style like George Clooney wears in Ocean Eleven films.

Again I was completely underwhelmed by his performance it was beyond mediocre. And that movement coach must not be earning his money with Matt as he is always on that chair. To quote the great Iggy Pop "I'm Bored".

When was this show going to pick up?

Well it started to with Natalie's rendition of the fabulous Kate Bush song "Running Up that Hill" which she did a great job with.

I thought she looked good in black pant and a jacket, which would be perfect for the Dr Who party I have been invited to, I would be able to dress as a dalek, rather then breaking out the shammy's to dress as that warrior princess Leila.

Matt Corby then sparked up with a good rendition of "Mines Eye" by Wolfmother, it was the only time all night there was any enthusiasm from him. Mark Holden loved it and gave it a standing ovation. His way of saying I want Matt to win.

Matt's look confused reality raver for quite a few minutes. I had thought that Sheridan Tyler had hit new lows in the wardrobe department by slinging a pair of sunglasses around his neck, however Ravers sidekick pointed out that it was part of the design of the tshirt. Duh.

Andrew G and James announced a new concept, the Winners Journey Tour, which the winner will do throughout Australia to be joined by different final 12 contestants throughout. It starts on January 4 in Wollongong.

It was then Natalie's turn to sing the winner's song "Here I Am". She did a much better job with it, and I quite liked it. Also she looks fantastic in red. The audience seemed much more enthusiastic about it.

Now they and us have to wait until next Sunday to find out the verdict.

Over the past couple of weeks I have been liking Matt less, and less, and I am trying to decide what he would hate more - winning and having to sing the winners anthem over and over to publicise it, or whether his ego would be crushed by not winning this season as everyone is expecting. So at this stage I have not decided how I will vote.

Tonight amid high tension, the 70's porn fashions continued with Matt Corby wearing a sequined t-shirt, Delta wearing a black sequined(clearly THE fashion trend for summer) mui mui, and Marcia mimicking Sonya McMahon's side split dress that she wore to the White House in 1971.

All three Idols had the I have come this far I want to go all the way nerves going but before the viewers could hear the verdict the Channel 10 producers had an hour of tv to fill.

Enter Delta Goodrem singing her new single "Believe Again". It was like a cross between Jewel and Stevie Nicks in her black sequined mui mui, what was that all about, does Sheridan Tyler have stylistic control over everyone who comes on the show? So this was Delta's new and sexy image? She is only 23 but she dresses like a 40 year old.

Then in the middle of the song all these women in white come onto the stage to sway and sing together. It was like a very bad take off of the Robert Palmer film clip of "Addicted to Love". It was all pretty cringe worthy, and it did not make me want to buy the album it is like she has morphed into Celine Dion.

Next up is the confidence chick asking banal questions of the idols. What I want to know is who did she sleep with to get her own segment on the show?

Then a new trying to be humorous but it so wasn't was Mark Holden going back stage with a camera calling it Idol Exposed. The only exposed bit was a shot of Marcia's broad shoulders in her sequined dress from last night, which was horrifying.

After a few more fillers on came Marcia to sing a song from her new album a cover version of the REM single "Everybody Hurts". It was not a great rendition of the song, not helped by the Hillsong backup singers.

Half way through I decided I preferred Kyles rendition of Just A Gigolo from last week.

The most nauseating moment was when she turned to sing to the Idol's with that look that said now kids this is how you sing with emotion.

Natalie just sat there with a fixed smile showing her newly whitened teeth, and Carl just looked totally bored because it was not a swing number.

Though it should have given Carl Risley comfort to know that you can make a career out of singing covers.

And then drumroll of suspense. Natalie Gauci was first through. For a moment I thought sweet irony maybe Matt will not make it to the Opera House, however predictably Carl was eliminated.


.

The penultimate episode on Australian Idol, the one where the voting public decides who gets to walk up the Opera House steps.

James Mathison bounced out feeling invigorated from him headlining a Free Burma demonstration yesterday. Normally I am not an advocate for celebrities mixing politics, but in this case it was appropriate, not just because of the Burmese Government's appalling behaviour, but he also has a personal connection with his grandmother being Burmese.

Now enough of the handwringing and on with the show.

Andrew G is growing a moustache for Movember, some sort of charity event that raises money for something, most likely to do with sick kiddies. But this week he looked like he was morphing into a '70's porn star with the handlebar moustache.

Tonight the Idol's were singing two songs each, one that a viewer had suggested, and one of their own choosing.

Natalie Gauci was first out. Her viewer a male nurse from Townsville, was asked by Andrew G what he liked about Natalie, he was stuttering her voice, the great range, what he was clearly thinking was her tits.

He chose Ray of Light by Madonna. This was always going to be a difficult song as the original always had alot going on in it other then Madonna's voice.
Yes it was a bit high, but I did not mind it compared to other performances tonight.

I thought she looked great. Second last show and they finally realise she looks better in pants. However slight muffin top moment when she stretch up and her body suit pulled up revealing sides of flesh. Kyle for once either did not notice it or was too polite to say anything.

Carl Risley - sang "You Give Me Something" by Van Morrison. He looked like an extra from the movie Boogie Nights with black leather pants, and a shirt open to the waist. Is '70's porn fashion back in? Come to think of it Sheridan Tyler has some strange facial hair happening as well.

In the shops this summer should we expect satin hot pants, matched with t-shirts with logo of Deep Throat on it. And I ain't talking about Watergate.

Any way Carl was so boring I started to think his only possibility for continuing an entertainment career might be in an erotic movie. It is interesting that there has been no Idol's with any home sex movies emerging onto the world wide web. Australian's don't appear to be as keen to get their most intimate acts film, unlike the Americans who tend to see it as an extension of reality tv.

Though some former Australian Idol contestants could consider making a "home movie" just to increase their profile when they are releasing a new single. Cosima may find this strategy particularly beneficial, as her post idol career appears to be limping to an end.

The judges thought Carl was good, I was not taking much notice, as I was distracted by the huge cleavage on the girl sitting behind Marcia.

Kyle said people will vote for Carl, as they know exactly what they are going to get. I reckon he is a bit like going to MacDonalds. You think you want it but once you get it it is bland, one dimensional and tasteless, and you know there is better elsewhere.

Carl Risley girlfriend has obviously learnt a bit since being in the media spotlight ie. audience. From frump with hair in pony tail and no make up, to looking cute with blow dried hair and makeup. Maybe she knows he is now in danger of being pinched by a Home and Away starlet.

Matt Corby viewer picked Evermore's "It's Too Late."

I knew the '80's was well and truly back in when he came onto the stage and I was looking at a brunette Nik Kershaw .

I am feeling particularly underwhelmed by Matt Corby at the moment, how different was it from any other songs he has sung. The judges obviously want him to win, as I suspect the record company BMG does too, however an album of stuff that he is currently singing will be mind numbing.

Then the Andrew G and James plugged the headandshoulders competition where the winner gets their favourite idol to come around and perform at your home to 20 of your friends. All I could think of was did they have to be from this years show?

Natalie's choice of song was "Nobody Knows" by Pink. Apparently a well known song but I had never heard of it. I liked the song and how she sang it. Judges also gave it the thumbs up.

I was appalled by the culottes she was wearing - I thought they came into fashion for a minute earlier this year. They are not a good look unless your name is Kate Moss.

Other fashion disasters were also seen on Natalie on her potential album cover photo shoot. I noted that the two boys got location (outdoor) shots while she did not. Does the record company know the polling from the past weeks, and Carl and Matt are top two.

Carl Risley- Sang "For Once In My Life" badly. Even though the BMG Sony record exec was gushing about Carl's marketability extending from the grannies to the young girls, I don't see it.

If I wanted to listen to this genre, which I don't, I will listen to the master Frank Sinatra or his apprentice Buble`.

Matt Corby in the lucky last position, the producers were leaving nothing to chance to get him to the Opera House sang a Beatles number "Across the Universe".

What has it been with this season and Beatles songs, there must have been five on this years show. Also why is a 17 year old sing a beatles song? He did not even change the arrangement.

Also wore the hat and sat on that chair again. I thought I was in Groundhog Day. Of course Mark Holden thought it was great, probably still pissed from Melbourne Cup day where he tied one on in the Birdcage.

All the judges did the usual, "so talented", "huge career ahead", you would have thought they were talking about the next Chris Martin of Coldplay fame.

I was amused when Kyle called him straight, he is clearly just as bewildered by the conservatism of this youth as I am.

Prediction Matt, and Natalie to be walking those steps to the screaming fans.

What is the point of big band night on Australian Idol? Is it to show singers versatility? Or to try and attract an older viewing demographic, or give some out of work horn players some employment?

No Idol has ever released a big band single.

I think I would prefer country and western night, or a song from a musical if no Andrew Lloyd Webber numbers were allowed.

Though if Natalie Gauci sang Cabaret, I don't think it would be a great look for her to do the Liza Minnelli suspender outfit.

It was a night where Dicko appeared in a really great cowboy shirt. In LA has he been shopping on 'Rodeo' Drive, all puns intended. Marcia showed the '80's fashion was well and truly back by showing her bra under her dress. Not a good look for anyone over 30.

Also now that Ben has gone from the show, John "Kermie" Foreman was now the butt of the gay jokes, with a "John loves a big horn section" comment from Andrew G.

Each Idol had to sing two songs tonight.

Carl Risley opened the show. He predictably picked a Michael Buble` and Harry Connick Jr numbers.

The Michael Buble` number was Me and Mrs Jones. He had the heartthrob thing going with the tie undone and the eyes staring down the camera, looking good. Then he started to sing. It was boring.

As Mark Holden said ok was not going to be good enough for Carl tonight this was his night it need to blow. It did not.

As one the papers outlined last week he is the only one in the final four who does not have a record company interested in him, and tonight would not have helped.

His Harry Connick Jr number " Just Kiss Me" was to staged, his interaction with the band was to forced. His voice is weak, and it all seemed to be a bit fast for him.

Marty Simpson was next and he really showed his lack of versatility and lack of IQ by picking two songs where the verse and the chorus was the same.

Erina in the pre song vignettes looked scathingly at him with his lack of knowledge and poor attitude towards the genre.

He did the usual well you know it was big band night, not my thing shrug the shoulders, cue goofy grin.

His first song was American baby - I wonder if he was singing it to his new 17 year old squeeze. Clearly he has moved on from little Lana. He does seem to like them young, they must be more on his wave length.

Mark Holden was spot on when he said " Just because you put horns on a song does not make it big band".

His last song was the Doors number "Light My Fire" I have heard better renditions in dodgy karaoke dens in Chinatown.

Next was the teeny bopper favourite Matt Corby who you could barely hear over the screams of the audience.

Mark was spot on again when he said his hair looked like an "Elvis hasidic jew".

Mark was on fire tonight. I also thought Matt looked a bit like Dean Geyer tonight. I almost wish he could have done a Geyer like back flip to liven the show up a bit.

He sang " How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You"

Now I thought this was a happy uplifting song, but he looked miserable throughout, like he did not want to be there. Also he had that weird hand action going on. Marty is about the only boy on Idol who does not that motion this season. Is it because he is the only one that might be getting laid?

His second song was a Bobby Darrin number "Beyond The Sea". Again this did not entertain me or my partner, as we started talking in the middle of it.

Conversation went something like this:
Partner (Male) : He does not appear to have much in his pants.
Me (Female): Black is slimming you know.
Partner: You reckon, sure it's not a camel toe?
Me: Are you saying he is more Quah (Family first todger flasher) then the winger from Manly on the Fox Sport News fuck up? (he was a Ohmigod that thing cannot be real, he should audition for Puppetry of the Penis).

Cue end of song wait for judges comments. To think I have the gall to call people banal!

The final singer for the night was Natalie Gauci, who apparently has been singing jazz since a young age and it showed. She was the standout for the night.

Tonight her father was in the audience cheering her along, he looks very young.
Has anyone found out if he is gay?

Her first song was Orange Coloured Sky, which was great, however Kyle was right she must suffer from "clothesorexia" where she looks in the mirror thinks she looks great but really it does not suit her. I thought she looked ok from the chest up.

She needs to stay out of the '80 fashions, it barely suits anyone, and definitely not her. The dress at the front was far to short you could see her mid thigh, and her legs are not her best asset.

Run from Sheridan Tyler Natalie, run. While Kyle is handing out fashion advice he should have a word to Marcia who must also have been styled by Sheridan tonight.

The sleeveless dress, with the black bra showing made her look bigger then a Williams sister, and that is hard.

Natalie's second song was an Ella Fitzgerald number "How High Is the Moon". It was sensational, and the best skatting seen on Aust Idol in five seasons.

Even her dress was ok, especially from the waist up. I am still undecided about the rest of it.

Mark Holden gave her a deserved touchdown. Kyle made the perceptive comment of how touchdowns were now turning into feelups. This year he does tend to run over to the Idols once he has given one, like he is Jesus anointing a disciple.

I don't think Marty or Carl would have drawn any new fans tonight, so they will be fighting to stay in. I think Marty to go but I say that every week.