Reality Ravings

Tonight I thought I had stepped into Dr Who's tardis and been time warped back to the early 1960's with the first episode of the Channel 9 show The Singing Bee.

There was Go Go dancers combined with wholesome entertainment that families could watch whilst eating their TV dinners.

The cultural cringe of those times was completed with the importation of the show's host from the USA, Joey_Fatone.

I am mystified as to why Channel 9 executives decided a local person was unable to compere the show. Joey exuded an aura of "Hell I don't know why they picked me but I will take the money and run."

It was obvious he was reading the autocue, he was not engaging with audience or contestants. The penultimate moment of Channel 9's mistake came when tonights winner after being told of the money he had won mischeviously said "But do I get the trophy?", and Joey responded like he was talking to an idiot "You've already won that."

He was being ironic Mr Fatone. Not a word that has ever really been in the American vocab.

The show is more a game show, then reality tv where contestants show their knowledge of song lyrics rather then singing ability.

The beginning of the show began with Joey pulling six contestants out of the audience ala The New Price Is Right, and it was then I was wondering where Larry was. Bring him back. This show would have been a perfect vehicle for him with his ability to nicely take the piss out of people, or poach Sonia Kruger from Channel 7.

The show was painful in a fast paced way, with the six contestants quickly being knocked down to one winner who competes for $50,000 prize money, oh and the trophy.

Rob Mills aka Millsy from Australian Idol is one of the singers and appeared to be enjoying himself, looking self satisfied he was at least continuing his post Idol career without having to bed American Hotel heiresses.

I am sure the troubled Channel 9 will be hoping for a ratings winner with this one, and even though I was singing along, I for one will be unlikely to watch it again.

In a week of much discussion on whether the Hillsong church has an undue influence on the voting patterns on Australian Idol, the issue has been raised on do some contestants in reality TV land have an unfair advantage before the competition begins?

An article in Crikey by Jane Nethercote again explored this issue about Hillsong and influence, but also highlighted that people like Fifi Box had Radio Station Triple M behind her, as did Grant Denyer with Sunrise and Channel 7 support to help him win Dancing With The Stars.

After much pondering these important matters, I came up with my own tips on how to win Australian Idol.

1. Don't just get a town behind you, you will need at least a State or Territory, or go one better as did Damien Leith and get a country barracking for you.

2. Try to have some struggle street story to tell, be a single mum, have a chronic disease (this works better on Big Brother), a recent tragedy; or a disability. Please note this one backfired on Brianna this year when she announced after an abysmal performance on Rock night that she was deaf in one ear. The viewers at home after sitting through 2 minutes of torture had worked out already she was tone deaf so did not get any sympathy votes.

This strategy works best when the "yarn" is fed through a skillful PR person to the weekly gossip mags with nice photos.

3. Have something memorable about yourself think Guy Sebastian- the Fro, Damien Leith - the falsetto, and Matt Corby this year is covering this area well with the hair and the scarfs.

4. Have some friendship or mentor with a "famous" person. Kate Derrugo mentor was Vinetta Fields, and this year Daniel Mifsud is seeking advice from Jade McCrae. Who is getting the most out of this friendship is debatable. As Jade appears to be using Daniel's 15 minutes of fame to plug her just released new album. Considering she has bagged out this years Idol competition it is the height of hypocrisy that the publicists continue to dripfeed photos of the pair of them to the daily newspapers. By the way Daniel your hair looks so much better short.

If the mainstream media is so concerned about the effect of Hillsong on Idol, maybe they should examine why this church is attracting so many young people to its flock, when other main religions are in decline.

There is a nice article on James Courtney in the SMH today highlighting both his hoofing and driving talents.

James is the dark horse contestant on Seven's Dancing with the Stars whose main purpose for being on the show was to cross promote the station's coverage of the Bathurst 1000 this weekend. Channel 7 were unable to use resident racing guru Grant Denyer, due to his previous participation and success on the series.

However it is working with me, I had never heard of James prior to two weeks ago, but I think he is great, and I am hoping he has his first win on the mountain tomorrow.

So You Think You Can Dance started off at a cracking pace with a frenetic opening number from the Hairspray director/choreographer, and this episodes guest judge Adam Shankman. He was a fabulous - witty, talented, and charismatic. His Wiki page also says he is openly gay - Really?? Talk about stating the bleeding obviously just couldn't quite picture him at Wal-Mart with a snotty nosed toddler in tow.

TV producers take note - the opening scenes of So You Think You Can Dance are always highly energised, and they really get you excited about the upcoming show.

Also Dancing With the Stars producers you can cross promote - (SYTCD producers were with the launch of the Hairspray DVD) without it being laborious and tacky.

However as some stages in last nights show I thought I was watching Perfect Match, with the cringe worthy moment of Dominic the Breaker declaring his love for Cat Deeley. Cat handled an embarrassing situation with as much finesse as possible. Be careful Cat he does have the slight stalker look about him.

Cat as usual looked stunning in fabrics that would most people should not leave their House in, black leather last week, bright coloured sequins this week. Though it did look like an can of fake tan had exploded on her. Next week I suspect it will be either taffeta or tassels.

Lacey and Cameron danced the hustle which was so Solid Gold, but much better. I wish someone would do a Where Are They Now on the Solid Gold dancers, I would definitely watch that episode Kochie.

Lacey has got Benji's charisma, but add in sex appeal. Also she is playing up to the camera well. I predict she will be in the final episode ie top 4 finish. The Judges loved their number.

Her and Benji should start a dance company I would definitely buy tickets to see them.

Shauna and Cedric danced the Mambo. I think the judges were kind because they were expecting them (read Cedric) to bomb and he didn't. But the routine was not up there with the others of the night. Poor Shauna in the pre-routine vignettes they do knew she had been delivered a shit sandwich and was just praying she could stay in the comp for another week.

Anya and Danny danced contemporary with a Tyce Di Orio number. This pair were a shock bottom 3 last week. I thought the routine was beautiful - Danny is magnificent. He jumps so high and with such control, however the judges comments were quite reserved resulting in Adam questioning whether Danny was arrogant. By the way I have not seen Travis, last seasons runner up, in the audience supporting his adopted brother, as there are always shots of Benji each week jumping up and down in the audience. Travis where are you? Also I would like to see their mum who must be the best dance teacher on the planet. Why is she not a guest choreographer?

This week Benji did have a reason to be there as he was the guest choreographer for the Pasha and Sara's new partnership. They danced a West Coast Swing routine. Heidi his cuz(top 4 finisher season 2) was there to assist and it looked like they were all having a great time. The routine was a cracker with great use of the stairs at the beginning to splits at the end, and cartwheels in between. Pasha certainly looked relieved to not be in the bottom three as he had been in the previous two weeks. The Benji factor was always going to bring in the votes. Maybe they should change the name of this episode to the Schwimmer Show.

Pasha is the hottest guy in the competition and I think fingers crossed he is actually straight. Yippee.

Sabra & Domenic danced a Shane Sparks hip hop routine. They did a great job, but I am hoping Domenic will get rolled soon as he is starting to creep me out. Also because of this, the fake canoodling in the dance made my skin crawl a bit.

Sabra used her pre-routine vignette much more intelligently then Dom, where she declared she had been a dancer in the very popular High School Movie flick. This would have guarantee her a lot of votes with the important teen voters.

In an earlier episode I thought I heard her say she had only been dancing for four years which makes her the envy of any person who has laboured through childhood ballet classes for years and years and graduated barely able to do a pirouette. Yes that would be me.

Hok and Jaimie were then given the routine of the waltz which is always the kiss of death and did land them in the bottom three. Though the footage from rehearsals when they giggling about having crushes on each other was nauseating and would not helped them gain any votes.

Though I must admit I have a slight crush on Hok not that I am into 5 foot nothing asians with weird haircuts, it must be that oxford english voice.

However I can report that Hok is actually dating Lacey. Now the USA is apparently the 3rd most populous in the world, but this show is very incestuous. Apparently Jaimie has been Travis's (Danny's brother) dance partner for the past 5 years....

Lauren and Neil were next with a Wade Robson jazz number. Now apparently Wade is Australian. I was a bit sceptical about this as I know Australians love to claim people as our own eg kiwi Russell Crowe, and even the Bee Gees who were barely foetuses when they were living here. I thought maybe Wade had transited at Sydney Airport for 2 hours and we were going to clutch him to our nationalistic bosoms. However pleased to report Wade was born in Brisbane who moved to the USA when he was young for his career. This guy is only in his mid 20's. Wade Robson bio/ but his CV is unbelievably impressive clearly he must be a member of mensa.

I hope the Australian production of SYTYCD will pay the big bucks to get him out here as a guest choreographer.

The routine was predictably good, and I am really starting to warm to Neil. However I find Lauren eminently forgettable, also I thought she over acted the routine. Anyway judges loved it, and they were safe this week.

Cedric and Shauna unsurprisingly got the boot. Anya's solo routine is dire, and she needed to look at some of Heidi's solo from last season to get some tips on how a ballroomer can still sizzle solo or she will be walking the plank soon.

This weeks eviction show (which is shown straight after the regular show here in Oz) showed just how high rating it must be in the states.

They had the director/choreographer of the Hairspray film as guest judge, some of the cast of the film were in the audience, including Zac Efron who apparently is the new messiah with the teenage girls at the moment. Then to complete the show was Hilary Duff, and she is huuuggggeeee over there.

I hope Australia is going to follow the US formula.
1. Huge opening number by new and exciting choreographers, if I see Paul Mercurio on it I will puke.
2. Guest judges: please import Mary, Wade, Tyce , Sparks, or Mia to come over for an episode. As previously reported Nigel might be a guest due to family on the Gold Coast.
3. Great host - ok so we cannot get Cat, but I understand Natalie Bassingwaite is the front runner, and I reckon she will have the goods to do the job. Funky, Sassy, and pretty.

The Daily Telegraph today reports that the popularity of Dicko has hit new heights with a Facebook page created called Monty Bloggers who lust after Dicko.

The article Dicko is a Sexy Bit of Crumpet? outlines how men and women would both like to do him. Very disturbing. The Daily Tele clearly wrote the article as a good opportunity for them to plug their Australian Idol Blog. Is this really mainstream news?

I think this whole episode highlights the evils of Facebook.

Other Facebook pages soon to appear:
Girls that would like to pray with Matt Corby;
People who would like to see Marcia give an honest opinion;and
Fans of Andrew G's hair.

Today Tonight this evening did a gasp shock horror story on Hillsong hijacking Australian Idol, and how there were also other christians had been through Idol.

They portrayed the congregation in the same way as a satanic cult, and I was disappointed they did not manage to get footage of someone walking across hot coals just to make their irrelevant point about the zealotry of this bunch.

I know it is not relevant to Hillsong but when has that ever matter to the quality journalism on Today Tonight.

Ben was outed in a different way for once, as was Tarasai, Daniel Mifsud, and Matt Corby as being part of this sect.

This story did assist with understanding why Ben says he's straight (and he could well be), but Hillsong are not known for there open and welcoming attitude to gay people. I think they may even dabble in a bit of re-education.

Jacob Butler must have been rubbing his hands in glee as being the about the only man left not tainted by this story. He needs to pick up I won't vote for a Hillsonger no matter how talented niche vote to have any chance of staying in the competition.

Stay tuned for other Today Tonight stories on how Arabic Idol is full of Muslims, and Israeli Idol - full of Jews.

Michael Klim was predictably the first contestant out of last nights Dancing With the Stars - Series 7 in an episode where Channel 7 cross promotion of their shows reached new heights.

The annoying thing about this show is that it takes 15-20mins to get to the first dance. First we have Darryl Somers doing a monotonous monologue to the camera, and each week I think he really needs to be shifted to a daytime format, or the writers sacked.

Then there is the pedestrian 'repartee' between Sonia Kruger and Darryl. Sonia Kruger was on fire tonight once she was away from the charisma sapping Darryl, and had some classy one-liners. As did Todd McKenny who showed why he is the judge with the highest profile.

Then they introduced the contestants and did some obviously stilted rehearsed patter with them.

Finally David Hobson and Karina danced the jive to snap be out of my catatonic stupor. I am starting to buy into the cult of David he is obviously going to be popular. Their dancing something was like something you see late on a Friday night after work drinks when people are trying to dance and sing at the same time to some tired old covers. Not great but not the biggest trainwreck of the night. Judges scored it highly - which indicates they want him to stay.

It was good to see that Channel 7 are trying to make the show carbon neutral by recycling Ozzie Ostrich into Karina's dress.

Next up Corinne Grant and Csaba doing the tango. Gosh did she luck out Csaba is a hottie, but I suspect he was acting the passion of the tango with her. These suspicions were confirmed when Todd and Csaba shamelessly flirted with each other at the end of the routine.

Unfortunately the dancing reminded me of a corspse in the stage of rigor mortis, so stiff. But 10 points for the lift at the end. Corinne your mission if you choose to accept it is to convert him by the end of the series.

Michael Klim and Eliza did a jive. As predicted by Reality Raver, Michael was the first to go. He was always going to need a big routine this week, but it just did not happen. Yes the Blues Brothers take off had energy but so unco. However he did a great high kick so would obviously rate highly if he had to do the Can Can.

James Courtney and Olya did a nice little tango which resulted in the highest score of the evening. This is where the start of Channel 7 cross promotion began. I think they said Bathurst 1000 about 20 times in a 5 minute segment. It worked for me as finally the penny dropped how James came to be on the show. They needed someone to promote their Bathurst coverage on the show, and Grant Denyer had already been a contestant. I wondered whether James would score a bonus by actually saying on screen that Channel 7 would be covering the race.

Not withstanding that for someone I had never heard of prior to last week, he is great. Nice personality, relaxed on camera, and does have a bit of rhythm. He could be the dark horse of the show which will be an exceptional feat considering he would have a small fan base. Also I suspect post racing he will be mugging at the cameras on The Great Outdoors. Channel 7 you picked a winner there.

Jessica Rowe & Serghei danced the jive. I really really want to like her. But I find her personality just does not gel with me. She has a great body, but what she was wearing looked not great. Her dancing is awkward and gangly. The lift they did was a mess. The judges have been told to be kind but they only scored her 23 which was one of the lowest scores of the evening.

I hope she stays on awhile but I will be surprised is she gets half way through.

An Doh and Luda did the tango - I liked the trick of them doing the first 20 seconds of the routine in the dark so that it gave atmosphere, but having the benefits of the judges not seeing any poor technique. I could almost hear the teeth clenching of the other contestants as they thought "damn why did not I think of that."

He is another good choice by Channel 7 it was a risk as he also comes from a small fan base, but he has rhythm and personality. My only criticism is that he is always trying to crack a joke and I would like to see more of the real An Doh shine through.

Elka Graham and Michael danced the jive - she is stunning, a Cyd Charisse without the rhythm. She was in the bottom 2 this week, and I think she will struggle to get out of that position which is unfortunate, as it is the highlight of the show when she stands next Darryl to make him look like a hobbit.

Patti Newton and Sandro did the tango. Would Patti be able do another showstopper like last week? No not quite, but still pretty good, and one of the highest scoring routines of the night. Paul Mercurio or was it Mark (those two blend in to me) mentioned her showbiz past, and her dance training from 40 years ago is obviously helping. The $50 million question is whether Channel 9 will allow Bert to attend any of the shows to see Patti dance. Clearly Matt Newton with his DV shame has been told to stay away as it is a family show.

Bridie Carter and Craig did the jive it was predictably good and fun. This was the highest scoring dance of the evening with James. I know she is apparently the favourite to win. However I think she needs to be careful about playing the modesty, "I don't think I am very good card" could cause a voter backlash. Also she is seems to come across as quite competitive which is never popular with the Australian tall poppy syndrome audience.

Mark Beretta and Linda were last and they did the tango or was it the bolero?? Again Channel 7 managed to plug Sunrise about five times. It made want to watch Today just to teach them a lesson...

His dancing is not great, and I found it vaguely amusing that his partner Linda was dragging him around the dance floor in a dance where the male is meant to be most dominate. The judges justifiably gave the routine a low 22.

Then we had the ultimate in cross promotion with Kath and Kel from Kath and Kim doing a routine. The ironical (as Kath would say) thing is that they were clearly the best and most entertaining dancers of the night even if it was a parody. Can they be contestants next series David Leckie?

The show ended with them quickly kicking Michael Klim off - no suspense and we were all allowed to go to bed.

Predictions for next week:
1. Home and Away actors will attend as part of an episode for the show as Sally won tickets in a local radio station competition. As part of that episode her and Darryl will do a duet singing I Got U Babe. NOOOOOOOO,
2. Darryl will improve by actually cracking one joke during the episode, and
3. Csaba and Todd will continue to use the show as foreplay.